Alone

Olivia walks into her apartment setting down her keys and gun on the coffee table in the living room. It was her first day back from working in Oregon. She thought it would be like old times, her and Elliot joking around and occasionally flirting but no he barely said one word to her let alone look at her! did her leaving really hurt him that badly? Shrugging off the thoughts she looked around her apartment. cold, empty, and lonely. story of my life Olivia thought taking off her jacket and laying it on the couch. she practically describes lonely. she's never had anybody all her life it's what she's used to. being alone. her mother was never there for her because she was always drunk, her father well I'm glad he was never in my life because I hate him for what he did to my mother she thought walking into the kitchen grabbing a water and sitting down on the counter. when did she let herself get this way? alone and depressed and in love with a man she can't touch. "why can't i just love somebody that could love me back?!", Olivia yelled throwing her water on the ground putting her head in her hands. her lips started to quiver. she tried to fight the tears off but one rebel year managed to break free and run down her cheek along with two others them three then four until she started full blown bawling. After a few minutes she finally got control of herself and started walking towards her room until she stopped at the doorway and looked at her bed. empty, one pillow, and the covers look like they haven't been moved in days these are all signs that she is alone. she has nobody. nobody loves her and she is alone. tears flowed down her face again but she wasn't bawling, it's like at this point she has accepted it. she walked into her room and sat down at the little desk she has in her room. she looked at the two pictures she has on there. the first picture is of her and her mother when Olivia was about sixteen. they where both smiling. "LIES", Olivia yelled throwing the picture frame at the wall holding back the tears. she looked at the cracked picture frame on the floor for awhile them turned and looked at the second picture it was of her and Elliot at the NYPD ball. Olivia bing the lonely loner she is had nobody to go with and Elliot was divorced with Kathy so neither did he. they both decided to go together. Olivia smiled picking up the picture frame and bringing it to her chest hugging it. she could still remember that night, Elliot holding her as they both slow danced, she remembers he smelt like the cologne she had got him for Christmas his tailored black suit with a red tie. miraculously they both somehow went matching to the ball. Olivia was wearing a long red cocktail dress with black heels and her hair down and curly. she remembers Elliot telling her he liked it that way.

Olivia laid the frame down on the table and turned to a small radio that accompanied the pictures. she turned it on searching for a station that would give her something other than static. 93.3... static 106.1... static finally she turned it to 86.2 and got some music. after the first few words Olivia immediately knew what the song was. it was the theme song to her life. All by myself by Celine Dion. "What a conicednence", Olivia said sarcastically rolling her eyes. She flopped down on her bed and just stared at the ceiling listening to the song. By the time Celine started singing the main words Olivia was bawling, mascara running down her face and getting on the back of her hands when she tried to wipe it away at some point of the song she started singing along. it wasn't actually singing it was just yelling out words,that sounded like the lyrics, through the tears. When it was In the middle of the song she decided she had enough and changed the station. After getting frustrated of hitting nothing but static she changed it back to Celine. with the music on loud not caring what the neighbors or landlord will say she started moving to the kitchen ever so slightly swaying with the music. when she reached her destination, the refrigerator, she started looking through it for some comfort food. she gathered ice cream,brownies,whip cream, and a big bottle of Dr.Pepper. she took it to the island on the kitchen and laid everything down. eating carelessly and still sobbing. the main words to all by myself came back on and she started yelling, not singing, but yelling along with her."ALL BYMYSEELLFFF DONT WANNA BE ALL BYMYSEEELLFFF ANYMOREEEE", Olivia yelled out as best as she can through all the tears and ice cream in her mouth. Her screaming was interrupted by the neighbor downstairs yelling "SHUT UP!", in reply Olivia yelled "YOU SHUT UP!", spitting out brownie and whip cream in the process. she just looked at it then looked at her surroundings. the music the food. she then looked at the mirror in front of her and saw her reflection. mascara streaks down her face, her hair was tossed and turned, and she had food all over her mouth and shirt. she was a mess. gosh when did she let herself get this way? She's acting like a school girl who just got dumped. her thoughts where interrupted by a knocking on the door. she started getting really mad, that ma from downstairs had the nerve to come up here and tell me something? Olivia thought getting up and stomping her way to the door. "YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO COME UP HERE AND TELL ME IM TOO LOUD!? WELL I HAVE SOME NEWS TO TEL YOU BUDDY BOY YOU STINK! WHATEVER YOUR BREWING DOWN THERE IN YOUR HELL HOLE IS STINKING UP MY-", she started yelling as she opened the door but stopped herself when she realized it wasn't the man from 2A no it was the man that this night was all about... "Elliot", she said just above a whisper. "hey", he said he said kinda shy. "Wha-what are you doing here?" she asked but then noticed the bags that where by his feet. she was going to ask another question but he just picked up the bags and walked inside. not knowing what to do she followed him. he walked into the living and set the bags on the coffee table. Olivia stood at the doorway watching wanting to know why he was here. Elliot turned around and looked at her for a second before he started walking towards, when he got to her he grabbed her hand and started pulling her towards the bathroom. Trusting Elliot she let him have control. sitting Olivia down on the toilet Elliot got a towel and wet it with water. without a word he slowly and softly started rubbing the mascara off her face. this action surprised Olivia. they don't touch and is don't think he's ever gotten this close to me before she thought watching him clean her face. When he was finished grabbed her hand again and lead her to the loving room again and say her down on the couch. With her on the couch he walked to his bags which where still on the table. he dug through them until he found what he was looking for. it was a bag of grocerys and he took out Hershey's , Dr.Peppers, chips and many more goodies that she loves. he then went through his other bag and took out some movies. she scanned through them and saw they where all chick flicks and her favorites. She watched as he took out the DVD and inserted it into the DVD player, she took this opportunity to ask him "what is this all about?", he abruptly stopped what he was doing and very slowly turned around to look at her. after a moment he finally said "I heard you in the hallway", Olivia was confused but remembered the soreness in her throat and why it was there... she was yelling ALOT tonight. "What exactly did you hear?", "well I was about to knock on your door but then I heard you yell LIES and then I stopped to listen to what else you would say. around the time you started singing all by myself I left to go get all this stuff.", Elliot said motioning to all the treats and movies. "why?" Olivia asked not quite understanding why he bought all of this stuff. "well I heard you crying and you know I don't like to hear you cry so I went out to get all your favorite foods and movies hoping that would comfort you a little bit", Olivia do anything except smile Elliot smiled back and the. Popped in the movie and turning off the lights, grabbing the food, and settling in his place next to Olivia before the movie started he asked her "Olivia you shouted why can't I love somebody that could love me back? who where you talking about?", Olivia just looked at him and shooked he head saying "nothing". Elliot just frowned and took the cover that was on the couch and spread that over the both of them and then started watching the movie.

Around the middle of the movie Olivia had fallen asleep. Elliot turned off the movie and then picked her up carrying her bridal style to her room. he laid her down and tucked her in before leaving the room he heard her murmur something he walked back over to her and kneeled down and whispered "what?", half asleep Olivia repeated "you are the person I was yelling about", Elliot was confused but then remembered back to her shout from earlier "WHY CANT I LOVE SOMEBODY THAT LOVES ME BACK?", Elliot looked down at her with a smile and whispered "oh Olivia I've always loved you", Olivia eyes flew open and her eyes where wide she opened her mouth but no words came out Elliot just chuckled and kissed her forehead and said "go to sleep Olivia, I'm going to sleep in the living room. okay?", Olivia was too shocked to speak so she just nodded her head. with that he left leaving Olivia alone and feeling like a lovesick school girl. maybe she wasn't so alone after all.