I'm Not Okay

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~2 weeks after the Vacation~

(Kat POV)

Me and Cole were shopping for new Longboards, some beanies, Van shirts, and I really wanted Bryan Stars stuff. So we finished all that stuff except the Bryan Stars, Me and Sky have moved into a new apartment. Which it was in the same apartment place as Cole and Dalton's apartments. "Hey Koala bear" I asked with puppy dog eyes looking at Cole holding his hand. He smiled at me raising his eyebrows which must I say look touch able. I said this really fast " Weelll Bryan Stars add more stuff to his website and he said there will be some of the stuff at Hot topic. I was wondering since were in town we could go check it out". I was still doing the puppy dog eyes swaying side to side "and you know that my 19 birthday is coming soon". He smiled " Lego"  yuss I won finally I skipped on the side walk still holding his hand.

~At Hot topic~

I walked in and I swear I looked like a child at a candy store, I walked over to the shirt department on the wall. OMG I seen 'You twerk We mosh' I shricked grabbing the shirt I ran over to the bands because mine now are getting worned down. I need to hide that place of skin I seen Bryan, BVB, FIR, MCR, GD, SWS I grabbed them all and walked over to corner. "I can pay you know" I said, he laughed " No its your birthday present" he kissed my fore head. I looked at the cashier he looked familiar huh?. "Kat... Kat Brooks?" the guy asked, his mouth opened OMG. "Umm yeah" I looked at him again "wait... your Jamie Lee aren't you". Jamie Lee would bully me when I was younger and that's when o started cutting. "So um are you still..."  as he started to pretend he was cutting himself. I smiled (Hatered smile), can we just get our stuff and go please. He nodded handing me my stuff and I walked out ~Kat's Birthday ~

I woke up around 10 am feeling okay I still had a nightmare about Jamie, here at me and Sky's new apartment we had different rooms. I walked over to my mirror took off some of my bracelets to look at the cuts. I sighed I thought myself  ' don't worry you're getting new bands today'. I put them back on and walked out to the living room and what's so great here is live on the bottom floor finally. Cole was sitting on the couch drinking red bull I walked over to the kitchen and grabbed a Monster. Which of course it was the white kind because that's my favorite of all times. I sat at the island separating the living room and the kitchen. Dalton waked out of the bathroom, I set my drink down and fell of the bar stool. "Haha very funny" I got up laughing I took my Monster and sat by Cole. "Happy Birthday Sweetie" he said then kissed my for head. "And damn when did you take a shower" I rolled my eye I smelt myself and shook my head. "uhhg last night but I sweated all night" I coughed "I love how we can be honest with one and other". He smiled "yeah and now go take a damn shower or you can't sit by me" I laughed. I flipped him off and got up set my Monster down and went to the bathroom.

~28 minutes later~

I got out of the shower "Damn it" I shouted, I forgot a damn towel uhhg why do I do this to myself. I poked my head out the door "Um Hey Cole" I asked looking for Cole he came out of the kitchen. "Yeah what do u need" he walked towards me,but he came close enough. "Stop don't come any farther" I said he had a questioning look on his face. He took another step "I'm naked I need u to get me a towel dumbass" he nodded. He got me a towel I slammed the door shut and it was loud as hell. He started laughing I could here him I wrapped myself in the towel and through my clothes in the hamper. I walked out to the living room into my bedroom I thought 'oh god what if he seen a cut why didn't I put my bracelet back on'. I got dressed into Ripped skinny jeans, a white tank top with a Black Veil Brides muscle shirt and some socks. I made sure I had my bands on before walking out of my bedroom . Sky was home and brought food home "Kat open your presents" she said. I nodded I sat on the island my back against the walk I opened Daltons gift first. I was those bag gifts holders and it had tissue paper I threw those on the floor. Cole was just about to pick it up i shouted "drop the paper and no one gets hurt" he surrender. Dalton got me a Falling in Reverse hoodie which was black and purple, and a gift card to the skate shop and Hottopic. I shouted "ERMERGER!!!!" he laughed, I opened Sky's gift this was wrapping paper boring. It was new skate shoes she bought me two kinds Vans and Converse. "Yusss" I said going over to Coles gift I ripped the paper took out the shirt. I jumped from the island turned my back to Cole and Dalton took of the shirts I was wear and put that one on real fast. I took the band, I took of the ones I had on already and it was to late everyone seen. I looked around and quickly put the new ones on " ummmm" I ran to my room. I through myself on my bed crying gripping my pillow I heard someone come in. " Go Away" I shouted into my pillow but the person didnt leave. "Kat please talk to me" It was Cole he sat at the edge of me twin bed. "What happened that made you.... cut was it me was it.." I cut him off. "Cole its not you can't we just forget about it" I asked sitting up. He kept looking straight ahead "fresh or old" he looked like he was crying he repeated himself. I chocked on this on word "fresh" he stood up and walked out of the room. I went to the door and locked it, I went over to my dresser looked at a picture of me and Cole on our week anniversary. I started to cry I throw the photo at the opposite wall "GOD DAMN IT" I Screamed. I heard footsteps to my bedroom door banging on my door. I walked over to the broken photo fell to my knees sobbing taking the photo. I held it to my chest not caring if anyone seen me like this Cole brusted through the door. He looked in to my eye he walked over holding me in his arms "I still love you Kat no matter what" he kissed my forehead. He picked me up and sat me on his lap sitting on the bed. In a few minutes we got up I started to clean up the glass I put shoes on so I wouldn't get cut.

~Hour later~

We went to my Sister's house aka: younger sis 'Lizbeth Brooks' no its not Lizabeth its Lizbeth. She live more in the country, 2 story house, in ground pool. She was dating Timmy Raspberry as I call him he is from 7 minutes in heaven. We rolled up and My old friend were there since it was for my birthday. Everyone brought bathing suits I had mine under my clothes I was ready to swim. I walked in to the house my sis greated me I went to the back door I went outside. I took of my clothes jumping in my brother-in-law throw me a wraph and he jumped in too.

 

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