Friends with Benefits | Joanne

1- The Studio

"Ok. One more time."

I pressed play and ran to the centre of the floor. Letting the melody take hold of me, I watched myself move in the mirror.

The beat of the music matched my heartbeat as I pressed my heel to the floor with a satisfying stomp. The volume was too loud to allow me to think, and I felt my mind go blank as my body span around on the spot.

Lost.

In the music. In the movement. In the moment.

So lost, that I didn't hear the studio door creak open.

So lost that I didn't notice two sets of eyes now watching me intently.

I slid to the floor and arched my back. The music stopped and my calm was broken by the sound of slow applause.

Turning towards the noise, I felt myself blush.

I must have lost track of time.

"Very nice".

Johannes walked to the centre of the floor and offered a hand to pull me to my feet. I took it, and he wrapped his arms around me.

"You've still got it."

I smiled.

'Yes I have' I thought to myself.

"Shame you can't tell the time, though". I turned towards the second voice and spotted a flash of ginger hair.

"Neil" I said with a smile, more in shock than as a greeting. "Sorry, I... I got a bit carried away." He smiled and pressed a light kiss to my cheek.

"I wouldn't expect anything less. It.... It looked good. Is that a new piece or...?"

I ran a hand back through my ruby red hair, brushing it away from my forehead. "It's... it's a work in progress", I answered his question. "Just a bit of improv that might turn into something. I'll let you know."

Neil smiled. "Well, it looked good. I hope you've got enough energy left for the actual rehearsal though!"

I nodded. I always have enough energy. Too much, probably.

"Absolutely. Is everyone else here?" I looked back towards the door.

"Not yet" Neil said as he pressed white tape to one corner of the floor. "J and I just thought we'd get here early to set up. I didn't realise you'd booked it out, but we waited until you finished your routine."

I smiled and walked to pick up my bottle of water. I hadn't meant to dance for so long; I'd booked a couple of hours in the studio before rehearsals as a reason to get out of the house. I was sick of the gym and I didn't particularly want to run before a dance session, but I needed something.

Running a new routine had given me something to focus on; for the first time in a month or so, I truly felt like myself.

As I drained my bottle of water, the other dancers began to file into the studio. I was greeted with hugs and kisses and "hey, red!" as everyone made their way to the edge to change shoes and warm up.

It had been weeks since I had seen any of my dance friends. And months since I had seen the handful who didn't live in the UK full-time. I'd been dancing on tour, and then we'd had three weeks off to prepare ourselves for our next project; Strictly Come Dancing 2018. I was so pleased to be back with everyone, and I couldn't wait to get involved in the newest series of this amazing show. It was my sole reason for being in this country, and I was determined to make the most of it.

"How was your break?" Katya had bounded over to me and was leaning her head against my shoulder.

I smiled at her in the mirror. "Pretty good, actually. I didn't really do a lot." I had kept my answer short, hoping it would suffice.

"And Ant?" She asked. My throat closed up. That was the question I had been dreading. "How is he?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "He's alright. He's coming down tonight for the weekend."

If Katya noticed my indifference, she didn't say anything. I took a long, deep breath and adjusted my top in the mirrored wall. Ant and I had been together on and off for almost a year. He had been great at first, but things were more difficult once he realised how hectic a dancer's life is. We had drifted apart, as often happens with long-distance relationships, and things weren't anywhere near as rosy as I had been making out.

It was part of the reason I had been coming to the studio and dancing more. The songs I was drawn to weren't exactly cheerful, but it felt good to move and to connect with the music and let myself feel something.

Even if that something was just sad.

"Now then, little one."

Kevin had spotted me across the hall and had walked across to me. Placing a friendly hand on my shoulder, he pressed down gently and rubbed his thumb across my shoulder blade.

"God, you're bloody tense!" He said smiling. Noticing my expression, his voice lowered. "Is everything ok?"

I rolled my eyes and tried not to show any emotion. "Yeah. I mean, things aren't great with Ant but..."

Kev nodded. "I won't ask anymore. Just... keep your head up and know I'm here if you need me."

I thanked him quietly and made my way to the centre of the floor.

My heart rate hadn't slowed much, and my palms were sweating. I needed to focus on learning these routines before the show started, but I couldn't stop thinking about him.

I needed to fix things or get out.

I didn't know which option was better, but I knew I couldn't go on feeling like this.