Hyrule Housewives

URBOSA?!

(AN: FUCK OFF HATERS, TO THE ONES FIGHTING IN THE COMMENTS, STOP OR I WILL HAVE GANON KILL YOU!.. thank you to beelane for being nice and defending me.

whoever said Ganon x link, die.)

I wasn't expecting Ganondorf to act the way that he did, it honestly scared me...

"Ganon?..." I cried out as tears began to fill up eyes like a pool. I was shaking as he took a hold of my small hands and placed them into his.

"Pep... It's okay..." He said in a deep comforting voice. His words warmed my heart and made me feel safe.

I felt safe with Ganon, he always knew what to say and how to care for me- FUCK NO! I can't be falling for him again!! I have Link! My boyfriend.. oh no.. I forgot. How is he going to react when he finds out i'm pregnant... I can just say Ganondorf was jerking it and his Alfredo sauce happened to fall inside me and get me pregnant when I was naked and tied up in the sex dungeon! ha! perfect! He won't suspect a thing.. Link, I'm sorry. or.. If that doesn't work.. HE RAPED ME! YEAH HE DID. HE KNEW I HAD BOYFRIEND BOYFRIEND! HE SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT. I WAS DRUBNK ON TACOS AND BURRITOS AND BITCH WAS GIVING ME THE STINK EYE ALL SUPPER! THAT BITCH STICK TUMOR FUCK!!!

I was buildinging up with angre. I yanked myself out of Gandolfs arms and ran out of the bed, my big belly bouncing up and down as I ran down the hall naked.

"WAIT!" Ganon yelled and got out of bed and ran after me, he threw on his dark red robe and put it on. His 12 foot dong being dragged underneath him as it banged against the chairs and desks down the hall.

"Leave me be! I'm going to hospitale!" I shouted and grabbed a big long jacket he had owned and zipped it up fully, so my neked my body was covered completely.

I ran outside barefoot and into the ice cold snow, Stepping into his Bugatti and started the engine with the touch of my palm, cause you know... technology (;

"PEP! YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO DRIVE!" Ganon shouted as he tried to get in the car with me, I revved up the engine and his dong got ran over and he fell over in pain as he teared up and cried.

"DAMN YOU, PEP! WHAT ABOUT OUR BABY?! YOU CAN'T DRIVE!" He shouted as I hit rocks and drove up a rock snowy mountain.

"SHUT UP! I PLAYED MARIO KART BEFORE AND I'M TAKING A SHORT CUT, YOU GREEN RED BitCH! I yelled" I yelled.

I must go to the hospital and find my Link..

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(Links view)

Link was decked out in the gerudo girl outfit that was Blue and Green. His hair was in tiny pigtails to give him a girly look, and to top it all off, he mad Red lipstick on and winged eyeliner.

As well as some melons that were colored his skin tone due to Sidon's Drag queen like style. It made it look like he had bongas!

"Huh?" Link asked as he turn to Sidon who oddly had 2 hard boners right now.

"O.. sorry link, I just made u look hot, not as hot as Pep tho." He coughed and wiped away the beads of sweat coming off his shark forehead.

"GYUH!?" Link noticed his dongers dancing in excitement and Link gagged as he ran out of Sidons room.

"Wow... not even letting me complement his boobs before he went? Rude!" He huffed and crossed his arms before he went chasing after Link.

"LINK WAIT!! I KNOW HOW TO GO TO GERUDO TOWN AN EASY ROUTE- oh he's gone."

and with that Link was on Epona and ran away out of Zora's domain.

"HYUH!" Link shouted as he whipped the reigns of the horse and made Epona go faster as he headed towards Gerudo town.

Links Melons were jiggling too much they fell out and hit Bokoblins that ran after him; dying instantly. Link turned around and laughed as it started to get hotter and hotter the further Link went. With Epona, traveling was so simple and easy, he forgot he could just teleport.

A few hours later Link finally arrived in the desert, the sun was beaming straight down on his pale skin, he was already sweating off his makeup..

He hopped off of Epona and ran towards the guards of Gerudo town and entered without and issue. He had to find Urbosa or Riju fast! They would know what to do!! He had no time to waste as he dashed towards the royal guards and the princess of Gerudo.. Urbosa.

"GYAHHHH!" Link yelled as he panted and rest his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath.

"What is it boy?!" Urbosa shouted and crossed her legs as she judged the champion in well dressed clothing.

Link did his best to explain what was going on and right when Urbosa heard "Pep" her interest was grasped.

"WHAT?! Ganondorf took Pep?! And he is still in love with her!? THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!" She stood up and screamed as lightning and thunder roared. (Thor is the god of the thunder, Urbosa has lightning. Do you think they be dating?)

Thor came souring down from the sky and landed perfectly by the throne of Urbosa.

"What is it, Miss? Thor said" THor said. He held his hammer in his hand as he eyed the blonde on the ground cross-dressing. "What is that?"

"That is the champion of Hyrule. He use to fight alongside Zelda.. before Pep came along."

"Is pep a threat?" 

"GOODNESS, NO! She is a princess of well."

"Princess of?..."

Link smirked and chuckled as he shook his head and bit his bottom lip.

"DISGUSTING! KEEP YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE GUTTER BOY! WE HAVE MORE SERIOUS MATTERS TO DISCUSS THAN YOU DEAR LOVED ONE!" She furrowed her eyebrows and stood up, walking towards the helpless blonde.

"I know where that sorry excuse of a Gerudo lies. If you wish to find him and rescue your lover.. You must have to do something for ME. In exchange, I'll give you all you need to know."

"GYUH?!"

"Don't act so surprised. Men who act clueless are useless to my services. You know I don't accept offers for free you know." She smirked and chuckled.

Link gulped as she held up a mask of one the Yiga Clans dismembered head.. Oh no..

TO EB ONTNUED.