Strange Things

Part 1: The Chaos

       Hey, I guess youre wondering why I am all the way overseas in Germany , its a little complicated but I will tell you the story. My name is Ann Morris and I am the only child that my mom has birthed so far. Im expecting a little brother or sister on the way , preferably a little brother because another girl would be a mess. I am 16 years old and loved by so many people. Growing up in California with my mom was a struggle every since my dad and her got a divorce. We were homeless for 3 months until she could stack her money enough for us to get a decent apartment to live in. I had got bullied just because of my smell majority of the time. I had no real friends because everyone talked about me including the teachers. This was one of the main reasons why I have a hard time trusting people. My mom always told me to seperate myself from the people who treats me wrong so I have learned to be on my own for a while. I sometimes feel lonely and in need of a friend because who else do I actually depend on?
       One morning my mom was making breakfast and I heard a knock on the door, I said "I'll get it mom, keep cooking"! She was so happy this day I didnt want to let anything disappoint her. I peeped through the peep hole and saw my father , he looked angry. I didnt want to let him in , I was hesitant. "WHO IS AT THE DOOR ANN"? It was silence. "ANN , WHO IS AT THE DOOR"!? I whispered , "Its daddy" he looks angry and wants to come inside. Get over here now Ann ! I quickly ran over there to her and hugged her tight . We both were afraid of him but how can we be so afraid and distant towards him when my mom is carrying his baby? None of this made sense to me , I spent nights worrying about what would happen. I never knew a solution to all this madness. I guess it wasnt my position to be worried as my mom says. We continue to hear knockings on the door then it had got silent. We walked closer to the door then we heard a gun cock back and it fired. "POW POW" Let me in this damn house , this is my house! We were surprised he had found us again because this was our 3rd time moving because of him. "Ann come here to daddy babygirl" "I wont hurt you" "I love you" my dad said. In my head I wondered if this was all true. How can you love me but youre threatening me and my mother? If you loved me you would act as if im your princess but I feel as if im your slave , doing whatever you say no matter what. My father's name is Derrick and he has a hard past , his mom is in a mental institute and his father is a drug dealer. My mom claims he just need some love thats why she kept him around for so long even after he did some messed up shit.
       Time settles down and my father tells my mother run some bath water for him because he had a long day at work. She tells him to run his own bath water and he gets angry "WHAT DID YOU SAY"? "Bitch I told you to run me that bath water and thats what you NEED to do" "Do you understand me"? It was nothing but silence and a scared look on my moms face. He smacked her very hard and pushed her to the ground. I ran to her and yelled "Daddy stop youre hurting her , dont do this , she is already pregnant"! He said Babygirl mind your business I want you to go in your room , I will handle your mom. I was crying and ran to my room and locked the door. He kicked my mom and told her to get up since she wants to be disobedient. He called her a pathetic bitch and spit on her. She layed there on the floor in pain as both of her eyes started to shut slowly. He then called my name "Ann baby unlock the door for daddy". I was sitting down on the floor rocking back and forth just thinking why was I ever born to deal with this chaos. I unlocked the door so he wouldnt become mad at me. He told me to sit next to him on the bed so we could talk. "Babygirl I want you to know that wasnt like me , I wouldnt want to hurt you or your mother, I just want you guys safe". I was listening to his wicked lies trickle through my brain as I became so angry inside. "I understand daddy" I said. "Good now give me a hug" daddy said. We hugged for a long time then he suddenly started to rub his hand on the side of my leg and smile at me. I never felt that before , im a virgin I dont know how it feels to have chills spread through your body after someone touches your leg or inner thigh. My heart was beating so fast , I had to get out of my bedroom but I knew if I did daddy would hurt me....so I stayed. He started kissing me on my neck , I told him to get off of me continuously but the feeling was great It just was my father . Thats what made things weird.He asked was I okay and I said yes just to play it off but I knew I had to get out of there. Before he could get any further I kicked him in his balls and ran out my room and out of my house. I cried as I was walking , I didnt know what to do or where to go. My mother didnt like to keep in touch with the family because all of the toxic stuff thats been going on.
        I went into the gas station to get a snack. I saw this boy named Josiah that goes to my school , he's cute but I think im way out of his league. He started to stare at me so I put my hood on so I wouldnt be noticed but that didnt work. "Hey, Ann, right"? He said. Um yes why? I was just wondering if youre okay , you seemed a bit off at school. He said. Im fine thanks for asking im just getting a snack right now. He looked at me in a weird way as if he knew what was going on with me. "Do you need a ride back Ann?" No im fine thanks I will walk. Well I hope youre safe out here, I'll see you later. Ugh! Knowing me , I really wanted that ride but I didnt know what he would be up to , my father already tried to rape me , I dont trust anyone! I finally head home and my mom is still laying on the floor but my dad is gone. I shake her and say "Mommmm" "Mommmm" "Are you okay?" She opens her eyes and says yes baby I just need some rest help me to my bedroom. I picked her up as she was limping to her room and I slowly put her on the bed. I had ran some water on a paper towel to clean off her face that my father had spit on. I just stared at her and realized that shes my only protector and lover. I admired my mother so much. "Are you hungry mama?" No baby im fine just leave the TV on I might fall asleep , thank you. I kissed her on the forehead and told her goodnight.
        I went in my room and sat on my window seat. Josiah managed to text me on Facebook just to check up on me from earlier. The message read "Hey just checking to see if you made it home safely". I wondered why he was being so nice and caring towards me as if he would EVER fall for me. I read the message and didnt reply back because boys was the last thing on my mind. "Bzzzzzz, Bzzzzzzz". My phone buzzed again and it was from him , he asked me if I was okay and needed to talk and did I want food. I couldnt give up the food so I guess he got a deal now. I told him to come over with the food preferably pizza because its my favorite. My mother didnt mind company because she trusts me and I let her know everything. Shes just like a bestfriend to me , I can never hide anything from her. At least I thought I wouldnt. He came over around 9pm and when he saw me he gave me a big hug as if I needed it. I pushed him off of me because it brings back times where my father attempted to do things on me but never succeeded. Josiah said, "Damn girl, I guess I have to be slow on you, I apologize". I laughed and said "Its okay" It was a reflex , im not used to getting hugs so much. He wanted to ask why but he changed the subject and said well I have your pizza with a cute smile on his face. Thank you , I said. He said no problem. I asked him what type of movies he likes to watch and he said comedy. "I actually dont even want to watch tv , I really wanna get to know you better Ann" he said. "Why do you want to do that , its not like you find me attractive anyway" I said. He grabbed my hands and sat me down on my bed and looked me in my eyes and told me I was beautiful and I want to become your closest friend and not care what anyone else thinks. It made me blush so hard I started to give in , I wondered if it was lies just like my daddy tells me. He wanted me to trust him but I dont trust anyone but my heart started to open up for him just a little. He asked if I smoked or drank and I told him I never done that before. He did one shot of Hennessy and told me to taste it and I did. It was strong but I liked it. He then rolled up and he started smoking so I did too. We talked in my room for hours laying down on my floor with the deepest convos ever. I loved how he was so open with me but I wasnt open with him as much. I felt as if I was going to be judged. I had fell asleep and woke up in the morning.
        "Knock , knock , knock". I got up from the floor quick and said who is it? My mom said it was her checking up on me and that she will be going to get groceries for the house. "Do you want to ride with me to get groceries Ann?" No mom im fine I have a headache. "Okay take some medicine I will be right back" she said. As soon as I heard the door shut I woke Josiah up , we literally had a hang over I barely even remember what happened. Josiah didnt live far from me so this was to my advantage. "Get up, you have to leave" I said. I will let you out the door and drive safely back home. I had became worried for this boy that I barely knew. He's making me catch feelings that I've never caught before. I opened my front door and there was my father.