I'll keep you in my heart | Mashikyu [ENG]

I'LL KEEP YOU IN MY HEART

“Feels like our time has stopped
Doesn’t anything last forever in this world?
Even after time, will you remember me?
With these faraway traces?

Don’t forget about me.
Don’t forget, don’t forget
My dear, don’t forget me
Don’t forget us don’t forget me
Everything about me.”

(Don’t Forget, iKON)

It was already dark outside and the clock on his phone read 8:25pm. Although it was pretty early, Junkyu had already fallen asleep, exhausted because of practice. Mashiho, sat on the floor with his back against the side of Yedam’s bed, looked at him. His red and soft lips were parted, his eyelashes gently laid on his rosy cheeks and a few little strands of hair covered his closed eyes. The computer, left on on his lap, cast a light show on the fair skin of his face. He was breathtakingly beautiful and Mashiho found himself craving for some contact. He got up and, once he had reached the other, he sat on his side, carefully trying not to wake him up. He knew how tiring practice could be, especially now that they had to get ready for the last stage. It was their last chance and they had to give their best. As everyone else, he had overworked himself lately but there was nothing he could do about it. He wanted to debut more than anything, no matter how tired he would get and how much his legs and back hurt because of the endless practice of the dance routine.

Seeing Junkyu’s face frowning, for the first time that week, Mashiho realized how tired he was. Overwhelmed by tiredness, he heaved a sigh and rubbed his eyes. He couldn’t allow himself to give up to his weariness. There were just two days left before the competition and he still had to fix the latest details of the choreography. Lost in his thoughts, he gently caressed Junkyu’s hair and then traced his delicate features with his fingertips. In that exact moment, the awful idea of possibly having to leave him behind hit him and made him gasp. He was a hundred percent sure Junkyu would debut. He was exactly the perfect kind of guy who comes to the mind whenever someone thinks of an idol. But he? …he was nothing special. He was still lacking in many ways and sometimes his Korean still made him stumble. How could he even debut if he was so unsure of himself?
He shut his teary eyes, stopping the tears from falling. He didn’t want to cry, not when Junkyu was beside him and could hear him. It would make him worried sick. The only time he had talked to him about his fears and lack of self-esteem, Junkyu, staring at him with his eyes widened, had shouted, «Yah! Don’t you even dare to say something like this…ever again! You’re amazing, okay? And I believe in you». That time, he had cried for a good twenty minutes and Junkyu had tried to calm him down whispering reassuring words in his ear. That was the first time they had kissed as well. Junkyu was wiping his tears and his touch was so gentle that Mashiho found himself leaning against the palm of his hand. He was looking down, but he could feel Junkyu’s gaze on him. A few seconds later they were staring at each other, Mashiho’s eyes still filled with tears and Junkyu’s hands cupped around his wet cheeks. All he could hear in that moment was the deafening sound of his racing heartbeat. The next minute, Junkyu’s lips were pressed against his and Mashiho had realized that he had unknowingly longed for it. The soft and gentle kiss soon turned into a desperate one, their tongues kept intertwining and expressing the need to rely on one another. They had slept in the same bed, that night. Tired from crying, Mashiho had fallen asleep on his lap and Junkyu couldn’t find the courage to wake him up.

When Junkyu, still fast asleep, moved a little to adjust himself into a more comfortable position, Mashiho leaned down and pressed his lips against his exposed forehead. Then he got up, he took some sheets of paper and a pen from his bag, and sat back on the floor, his eyes still fixed on Junkyu. He was not sure what he was going to write, he just suddenly felt the need to put that confused amount of thoughts – that didn’t allow him to think clearly – down. He put on his headphones and pressed play. Bigbang’s “if you” echoed in his ears and he started murmuring the lyrics to himself.