Chapter 4

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“Di ko makita ung liverspread sa bahay niyo so inutang ko muna ung liverspread ni Mark, yung Pinoy na ka-floor niyo.”  Xian was thawing the beef in the microwave.

“Ok.”  Kim’s throat felt dry.

“Kim, anong gusto mo – spicy o hindi?”  Xian looked at her across the room.

She was mindlessly staring at the laptop screen.  “Ha?  Hindi.. hindi spicy.” 

Xian’s brows furrowed.  “Hmm, sige.”   He sensed a shift in Kim’s mood but he wasn’t sure.

In need of something to distract her, Kim logged into Facebook.  She scrolled through posts and updates from friends, mindlessly “Like”-ing this and that.  Her mind was going in circles at her earlier discovery.  Should she ask him? How will he take it?  And why does he keep a picture of her?  She’s dead!

Kim sighed deeply and cradled the side of her head with her hand while the other hand remained on the keyboard.

“Ang lalim nun, ha.”  Xian sat down beside her while the meat cooked.  He wrapped his arm around her and gazed at her with concern. 

“Parang matamlay ka.”, he added, placing the back of his hand against her neck to check for fever.

Kim gave him a weak smile.  “Pagod lang.”, she assured him.  

“Matulog ka muna, gusto mo?  Gisingin kita pag kakain na.”

She shook her head. “Huwag na, baka lalo akong di makatulog mamaya.”  She highly doubted if she was going to get any sleep anyway.  Xian didn’t insist and together, they watched random videos on Youtube.  From time to time, he’d check on his cooking.

Dinnertime was a blur.   Kim mechanically chewed her food while Xian tried to make conversation.  Her mind was again at a tug-of-war whether or not to broach the subject.   But she made a promise to Liz.  She sighed, again.

“Tsk, kanina ka pa ha.”  Xian looked at her directly.  “What’s wrong?”

“Wala.”

“Kim, I know something’s wrong.  Tell me.”  His voice was firm.

“Wala nga.  Pagod lang.”   She helped him clear the table, avoiding his eyes.

“Kim, look at me.”  He gently held her by the shoulders.  “Please tell me.”

“Wala talaga, Xi.”   She broke free from his hold and brought the dirty dishes to the sink.

“Ba’t ganyan kayong mga babae?  Sasabihin niyong walang problema kahit meron?”

“Eh sa wala nga.”   She started to soap the dishes while Xian approached her and stood by her side, watching her.

“Bakit parang naglilihim ka na sa ‘kin, Kim?” 

She was starting to get tired of this.  “Ako naglilihim?”

“Oo.  Ayan.”  He gestured in her direction.  “Hindi ako manhid, Kim.  I know something’s bothering you.  So spill it out.  Ako, kapag may problema sinasabi ko naman sa ‘yo, diba?”

“Talaga lang?”  She shot him a glance, breathing deeply to control her growing irritation.

“Bakit, hindi ba?”

“Xi, ikaw lang makakasagot sa tanong mo.”   Kim finished rinsing the dishes, placed them on the rack  and dried her hands.   She headed to the living room and turned on the TV.   He sat down beside her, confused.

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