2 WORLDS

9

It's the sixth day of the Great (Jade) Depression, and yet nothing reassure me more than the three girls I can gladly call my band mates: all three of them have been crashing at my mom's for a few days, before we are heading to the capital once again for a BBC Radio show. It's freezing cold outside, and everything seemed so out of place. 

Or maybe I was out of everything. 

When we make it to our hotel rooms, I get paired with Jesy, who seems ecstatic. Once we settled our things, she sits me down on the bed, sitting down next to me. She has her 'Jadey, we're about to have a 'how are you baby' talk and you better not lie' facial expression on. That actually makes me smirk: it dates back from the X Factor days.  

She smirks. 

"So" she lets out, looking at me. "What happened with Blondie ?"

That makes me sigh. 

"What do you want to know, Jesy ?" 

"Everything."

In a matter of fifteen minutes, I told her everything about Abby : how we met, how we immediately clicked, and how it all ended, with my heart being broken in the process - still is. Jesy is a great listener, everybody knows that. 

At the end of it all, she only says:

"Did you try to contact her ?" 

I shake my head nervously. 

"She wrote me this."

I hand her the note, setting my jaw. She realizes it makes me incredibly sad, and once she's read through it, she sighs loudly. 

She then says:

"Jadey, this note just reflects the fear she's feeling" 

"Um... What ?" I ask, frowning. 

"What I'm saying is" Jesy says, looking directly at my face, her confident voice on, "she would never have written that note if she didn't give a damn about you, or if she felt nothing. This is a clear sign that she likes you too."

"Well, I have another reading." I sadly say. 

She suddenly grabs my shoulders, smirking. 

"Babe, no offense, but you're blind. Ask Leigh or Perrie."

"What does that mean ?" I ask, getting suddenly angry. I then dramatically gets up : "Does that mean you guys talked behind my back ?"

Jesy bursts into laughter. 

"We've been trying to talk about your little lover for about a week now, but you wouldn't listen. So somebody had to wake you the fuck up, love."

My heart starts racing. 

"But-"

"Trust me, honey, that girl likes you too. Now it's up to you: either you let her go, or you run after her. I know you're the kind to be run after, but maybe this time it's up to you."

"But-" I try again, unsuccessfully. 

"What do you want, Jade ?"

Everything stops. 

That question is repeated again and again in my head. What do you want, Jade ? What do you want ? I think of Jed, and how it never felt completely right, and how the feelings faded rapidly. What do you want, Jade ? Every time I've had feelings, they would've faded in a blink. But now ? They can't fade. 

What do you really want, Jade ? For fuck's sake ? What do you fucking want. 

The answer just came out naturally:

"Her." 

Jesy smiles.

"After tonight's show, we're going on a plane, honey." she says, smirking again. 

I frown, not sure to have understood.

"What do you mean, we ?" I slowly ask, suspicious. 

Jesy's eyes light up. 

"Well, that sound like an adventure we need to support you during" she says, laughing. "Besides, I've always wanted to go to North Carolina."

"You have ?" 

"Nah. But we booked the tickets already, so, yeah. We're going."

Strangely enough, that makes me burst into laughter, and then into tears. As Jesy is hugging me, I only say:

"We're going."

The next morning, we're boarding a plane for Raleigh, North Carolina.