Imagine you wake up one day and feel like you fancy murdering the old woman who lives 3 streets away that gives you a mars bar every Halloween whose family live 237 miles away. Well, how hard would it be to not get caught?
Fortunately it's pretty difficult to connect you to the poor old woman. You'll have to make sure you're not creeping around in broad daylight wearing a black jacket and holding a carving knife while your neighbour is drives past you to work in his beige Renault scenic. Maybe try doing it in the early hours, or midday on a Tuesday when everyone's at work. You'll have to make sure, of course, none of your clothes fibres manage to get caught on anything, so basically just try and float down the road to ensure you're not touching anything at all. Ah, which weapon to use. Well an icicle is a bad idea, because it'll melt either because of the sun's intense rays beating down on it, or the uncontrollable sweat gushing from your hands, half from nervousness, half from the psychotic excitement you feel for some reason. Maybe, you should borrow the old woman's knife, but it'd be hard to get being as though she's in the house. Best bet is to purchase your own knife and hope it'll do the trick. Ok- let's imagine we're at her front door and you ring the doorbell. Your waiting for her to answe- "hello, petal, can I help you ?" She'd probably say. "Can I come in and ask your advice on something? I'm too scared to ask my mum." Nice one. Humiliate yourself so you look weak, as if you aren't strong enough mentally to kill her.
Back to the point, maybe don't use a knife. Too hard to dispose of, too much blood. Keep that newly purchased knife in your back pocket just incase. Now, put your gloves on, and wrap your hands around the woman's neck, and squeeze. Just think about the exam you've got in two weeks and use the poor old woman's neck as a stress toy- before you know it, she's dead. Great. You're now a murderer. What fun! Oh wait- best to make sure I haven't left any microscopic traces of DNA. Never mind, I can't because I forgot to bring the microscope that I don't have.
I'm not going to go on any further. It's pretty easy to see that it's quite hard to murder someone without being caught.
Maybe just stick to killing cartoon characters on computers or maybe a few birds and wild rabbits. Good bloody luck.
