His Last Love [BxB] COMPLETED

Part VII

Leonardo realized he was in love with Charlie five months after their first kiss, in the thick of May blossoms and spring showers.

They sat at their favorite bench overlooking the Harvard River. Charlie was explaining something, his mouth a serious line but his eyes as light and piercing as the blue sky. His cheeks were pink from the breeze off the water, and Leonardo knew he could sit and watch him talk for hours.

"Are you listening?"

Leonardo twirled a strand of his golden hair between his fingers. "Of course. I love your voice."

"But did you hear what I was saying?"

"And I love your cheeks and how red they get when we go outside."

"You're impossible," Charlie said, but he was smiling.

"And I love your hair. And your eyes. And your lips And spending time with you."

"Stop it," Charlie said half heartedly. Leonardo took Charlie's hand and placed the palm over his chest.

"Do you hear that?" Leonardo's heart beat faster. "That's you. And with every beat I love you more."

There was a flicker of doubt in Charlie's eyes. Was he the cause of that? Leonardo felt a crumbling in his chest when he knew Charlie wasn't going to say it back. This was his fault. But it was what he deserved, so he smiled through it.

"Meu amor, meu amor, meu amor."

Leonardo leaned in and kissed him.

Leonardo's past did not want to forget him, and he knew there was only one way things would end with Charlie. At a spring break party, Alex Green came up to Leonardo out of nowhere.

"Hey, Leonardo," Alex said, grimacing through a smile.

"Oh, Alex, hi." Leonardo hadn't seen her since their break up. She was the last real relationship he had, and it ended ugly. He did not take this as a good sign.

"I hear you're seeing someone." Alex tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. She always had that nervous habit. "I also hear it's serious."

"It's not really your business," Leonardo said in a tight voice.

"No, I guess it's not. I just hope you don't wreck his heart like you did mine."

"What do you want?"

"I used to want a lot of things. At first, just to get you back. Then I wanted to kill you, each scenario bloodier than the last. Then I wanted to kill myself. I even wanted an apology. Now I just want to protect someone else, which is what I wish someone did for me."

She did more than protect Charlie. Alex reassured all his doubts and fears. She told him secrets. Fed him the ugly truth.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Charlie asked.

It was raining, and they were standing in the middle of the Harvard campus. Charlie didn't have an umbrella, but he refused to go closer to Leonardo to use his.

"I wanted to," Leonardo said. "Please, let me explain."

"I had to hear it from your ex-girlfriend. Who you manipulated and then cheated on. Who you completely used just to get over Liam."

"Charlie, you don't understand. I was devastated. You don't understand what Liam had meant to me."

"No I don't. You told me he was a psychopath. That you guys just had a thing. That it meant nothing," Charlie said.

"We were in love in high school, but keeping it a secret. Neither of us were publicly out yet. We would go to parties and stand in different groups. But he was my world. He understood me.

"One night, at a party, Liam got really drunk. He grabbed this girl, Alex, who I was friends with, and took her to the backyard. Then I heard screaming, so I rushed out and saw my boyfriend trying to rape a girl.

"Back at school the next week, not everyone believed the rumors about Alex and Liam and the sexual assault. It took everything out of me, but I confirmed them. Liam thought I betrayed him, like I should've saved his image. He didn't realize that he was the one who betrayed first. In retaliation, Liam told everyone I was bi, even though I wasn't ready to come out. It was awful at school and I became really depressed.

"It was sort of inevitable that Alex and I became very close. We understood each other. We were both hurt by Liam. She fell in love with me. I wish I did too, but I was so broken from Liam, I couldn't give myself away so soon. I led her on, I admit. It was awful of me. And to hide my guilt I went to gay bars and would get drunk and fuck any guy willing. When she found out, it wrecked her.

"Look, Charlie, I'm not perfect. Not even close. I've done things that I'm ashamed of, things that are so awful. I use people, then discard them. And sometimes I don't even care."

Leonardo felt the rain turn to vicious flames, burning his skin. He took a deep breath.

"That's why we should end this. You're too good for me." Leonardo could hardly stand.

Charlie stared, shocked, his curls dripping from the rain.

"Are―are you breaking up with me?"

"Yes. I'm sorry. Fuck. Merde. I have to, don't you get it? This will only end badly."

"No, this isn't―we can't―I forgive you. Please don't do this," Charlie said, closing the gap between them and grabbing Leonardo's arms. "I forgive you. About lying. I get it. I don't care about your past."

"It doesn't matter. You deserve so much better than me. And I will never deserve you. I told you once before, Charlie, you can't fix who I am."

"Stop this―this self destruction. I love you, okay? I love you." Charlie started to cry. He held onto Leonardo and let the hot tears slide down his face. "Please don't do this. If you love me, please don't do this."

Leonardo could not feel anything, only the heaving body desperately clinging to him.

"Charlie, meu amor, I am doing this because I love you."

"Please stop. Please, I'm begging you."

"I need to go. Don't make this harder for me. You'll thank me one day. I promise."

"Fuck you, Leonardo. Don't you love me?"

Leonardo left.