Tenuous

i.

⌦ Bang Chan (Christopher)

Request from @Rapmopon

Scenario (angst)

Chan is in love with [Y/N] and [Y/N] also knows about the other affection. But he's stuck in an arranged marriage and soon falls in love with his bride to be. Ignoring Chan's crying for love and pleases to be noticed [Y/N] lives alive for himself and not the one he promised to live for.

Start 

 It was strange for Chan to see him smile at someone else. Never had he put himself out enough to experience happiness with others, other than the other. It was also strange that the boy everyone thought was to end up with one of his own ended up with the other. Just like no books cover was to be judged, no face spoke truths. People would come up to him asking about the boy who owned it all. His love. His life. Like asteroids are drawn to the sun, lungs to air and creatures to water, life was difficult living without the constant magnetic pull that drew Chan to the man he had known for so long.  He once thought he knew the boy but now he can hardly recognise himself enough to guess others.

They had met in his later year of middle school. Christopher had picked up piano in the recent year and his music teacher at the time had offered to have him meet one of the teachers more popular and talented students. And even though Chan had thought of this person to be robotic and stoic as some professional players where he was meet with completely contrasting features.  [E/C] eyes contained live and utter nervousness when he had walked into the room but smiled anyway. He wasn't must of a talker - never was - but he opened up slightly the day he met Chan. They were in the same year and both were starting high school the following year. 

In the second year of high school, Chan was once again shocked by the other male appearance at his school. [Y/N] who he had met two years prior was soon sitting in the same class as him every day. He didn't try to make friends though, normally leaving himself out of conversations. Chan had once invited him to join his own group of friends but was politely declined much to his disappointment. That's when Christopher himself started to change. He started to leave his own group and spend his time with the slightly taller male who played the piano. At first, he had no idea where to find the male outside of class but upon hearing vivid playing from one of the rooms he could only guess. When he had the guts to open the door the atmosphere became unsettling. [Y/N] was playing beautifully - focused and precise - but it was forced, he could hear it, he could see it. The other stopped seconds after the door opened, eyes open in shock and sprung to his feet. Chan could only console him, force him to speak of his woes.

From then it became peaceful. The two boys became dependant on the other. Spending hours talking about their studies and what they wanted to be. Chan wanted to stay in music while [Y/N] wanted to stray. They became like asteroids are drawn to the sun, lungs to air and creatures to water. But the sun does not need the asteroids, air does not need lungs and water does not need creatures. Some people learn the hard way.

In all of the second year, two large things happened. [Y/N] told Chan about his parents and their forcefulness about his future which had lead him to hate music and performing due to their criticism and hate. And [Y/N]'s promise. 

' I can't imagine you not in my life. You don't know how grateful I am that our teacher introduced us to each other. And you know, if we ever end up forever best of friends or something more I know I will forever stay with you. Live for you. Always'

Yet in the later part of their third year [Y/N] seemed to disappear at times for multiple days before appearing again. He never told Chan where he was, what he was doing and in turn, sturred green inside for Christopher's blood. Who was [Y/N] with, what were they doing? His disappearance only flew blinking lights into Chan's sky, lights crashing to leave black in their wake. He missed [Y/N] more than he wanted to admit. He needed [Y/N] more than he wanted to admit. But who could stop his mind when the signs were already lit.