The Next Generation (2019)

The Beginning

Would have I thought I would end up there, lying next to her ? Flora had been on the other side for as long as I've breathed on this Earth and I was daring to let my guards down. My father would have put a bullet in my brains for this. Being his blood would have not mattered one second. Actually it might buy me a second, for him to show me the disappointment in his eyes. Because I would not have listened to the first and only rule he had been repeating since I was old enough to comprehend it : do not sympathise with the ennemy, never.

I remember our late evenings in the control room, he would not take his eyes off the screens while sipping his homemade cider. I would sit by his side, my legs swinging, my body sprawled down my chair. "Papa, why don't you ever go playing with me ? would I articulate while watching the timecode on camera 4." I was not surprised as my father swallowed loudly and put back his drink on the edge of the desk. "Because if I go play, who is going to look after you, big guy ? You don't need Papa to play." And like every other day, I would jump out of my chair, comment on how he was the worst father and how our home was a prison. And like every other day, he would sigh and grab his drink to down it. He knew in a few years, I would understand and that as any good parent he had to take it in because deep inside, he knew I loved him. He had just hoped that he could have given me the same childhood he had but that was an utopia and my father was a lot but an utopian.

As I crawled under my bed sheets, I heard his steps in the corridor. I pulled my blanket up to my chin and stared at the door half-opened. "Kiddo, you know the rules." And just like this, the light disappeared and I was surrounded by the dark. I heard the lock turning and my pillow vibrated. I grabbed the device hidden in my sheets and pressed the side button until I heard hissing. "I love you Papa, I whispered close to the engine." "I love you too, now go to bed. We have a lot to do in the morning."

Every night I would close my eyes and dream about it. The outside world. What was hidden out of the reach of these cameras ? How big was this unknown world ? Were there others like us ? Before my eyelids would pass the images of my children books. So many colours and so much life and freedom. Was it all fantasy ? I could not believe it was. And every night I would let my imagination drive me to these beautiful places that I prayed were real. My father would tell you that imagination is a distraction that is going to get you killed, that what matters is what is in front of you, in the moment. Not some made-up fantasy. I guess that somehow he was not all wrong. Because when I went to bed that night, an idea bloomed into my head and this is where all began.

This sounds cliché - and frankly it is - but this is where my life truly began. Life as we should all live it. The thrills, the freedom, the pain, the quest of purpose, the love.

So let me take you on my journey, on this morning where I woke up with the most surreal plan.