Fall Down? Get Back Up!

Chapter 4: Buckles, Barrels, and Boys

Hello my beautiful people, late late late update but, here you go! My beauties. Stay beautiful!
     ~Kaylee
---------------------------------------------

Ashley's POV
My hands shook as I looked at the road, my blue eyes darting to the floorboard, fiddling with my braid and sighing. My dad looked at me and smiled, patting my shoulder.

"It's gonna be fine Pumpkin.. You've practiced this for months, your gonna do wonderful.."

I smiled weakly and could feel the ball of nausea in my stomach growing larger and larger. My eyes squeezed shut, as if expecting to wake up in an alternate universe or in my room, where I was dreaming. I wasn't.. Sadly, I slumped in the seat, hearing Bullet kick the trailer, his neighs filled my ears as I remembered that I had promised I'd do this..

20 Minutes Later....
Ashley's POV
I looked around, sitting atop Bullet with a small smile and wave to the other competitors. I held the reins and heard the judge over the intercome announce the next person to run, as she finished in 17.84 seconds, I felt the green-eyed ball of nausea fill my body again as I heard the man announce I was next. I squeezed my legs and allowed the already anxious Bullet to trot forth. I ran my fingers over the horse charm bracelet and then kicked Bullet into a quick gallop, sending him around the first barrel with tight turns and looping around the second, racing for the third and my foot barely tapped it and I breathed out in relief. I felt the stallion bolt for home, I kicked and held on easily. I sighed and Bullet did to, he panted and I listened, 16.09 seconds . He had announced me as winner and I didn't even cheer, I smiled and waved before kicking Bullet off to untack him and cool him down. A few little girls waved and asked for autographs, I signed a few and lead my Quarter Horse to the trailer, tying him and untacking him. I sighed and looked at the newly earned belt buckle I had recieved, it'd be my 20th belt buckle I own. I ran my finger over the silver horse and the barrel on it, I felt tears well in my eyes as I threw the buckle into the grooming box. Bullet nickered and I smiled, hugging his neck and looking to see Dale, of all people, standing there and smiling at me. I could only smirk and wave slightly as he walked over.

"Hey, I heard your time, not to shabby sweetie.." I smiled and nodded a thank you.

"Surprised you didn't smile and squeal like I've seen other girls.. Why weren't you so happy?"

I sighed, "I don't cheer for winning like that because I know that every good thing has a bad following it like a puppy dog.. I don't cheer because it isn't fair to him.."

"Him?" Dale looked at me like I was nuttier than a box of almonds.

I nodded. "My brother, he.. He died when I was 14.. He was a barrel racer and bronc rider. His horse slid on the barrels when it was raining, a-and he was crushed under his horse.. He said he was going to win enough money to buy me a bedazzled breast collar I wanted for my birthday.."

Dale sighed, "Wow, that's sad.. I'm so sorry.." He embraced me in a tight hug and I could only muffle out a exhasperated sigh and hug him tightly.

"I miss him so much... I miss his hugs, his soft, brown eyes, and his funny jokes. He was my first best friend, the one who would bug me, poke me, and train me.. That's why I never wanted to barrel race again.. I promised him, that I'd make sure I got into the Olympics, and I won a gold for him.." My body shook harder and I could only hold on tighter, burying my face in Dale's chest. I felt safe, content, and loved... He had that "it" factor that made me want to be around him. As I began to release he smiled softly and kissed my cheek.

"See you round' sweetie.." I looked as my dad came over to me and hugged me tightly.

"Great job Pumpkin! I knew you'd do it.. Andre would be proud.." He smiled to me and I smiled back, wiping a few tears from my eyes.

"Thanks daddy.. I'm sure he is.. Up there with God.." I smiled and loaded Bullet up, getting into the passenger side and slamming the door shut, my eyes watered and I wiped the tears away as I stared out the window at the empty fields, visions of my brother's accident replayed in my mind, like a fresh wound that bled, my wounds of pain, dispair, and depression were reopening and in the memories of my sibling's death. My eyes softened as I set my head back and I could feel his prescence. Although, I knew he wasn't there in the cab of the truck but, I missed him so much that sometimes, I could see him at night. When my eyes play tricks on me I can see him, like he's visiting me and watching over me.. Sometimes, I think I can feel him when I practiced with Bullet for the barrels.. Like, he was there in the stands and was watching me, protecting me, and cheering me on. Eventually, I fell asleep in the truck and dreampt more of him...