1,000 Words or Less

White Walls

I'm in a room all alone. The room is so tiny. Ten by ten I estimate. Painted a blinding white. You know how you walk into a hospital and you have to protect your eyes from the paint job? That's how this room is. Differently from a hospital though it has no doors or windows. Meaning no escape. This fact enters my mind and terror rises inside me. My heart beat quickens along with my breathing. I rest my hand over my heart and feel its desperate thump-thump-thump. My heart makes a sorry attempt of beating out of my rib cage. I am thankful though that it fails for I need my sorry heart nonetheless.

I half stumble half run to one of the too white walls. I bang my fists against it with all my strength. I begin kicking it instead because my fists are useless objects. Then I simply scream at it. I scream and scream until I have no voice left. I pull and tug on my hair letting the strands fall away from my fingers. I am no longer fearful but frustrated. I turn and slide my back down the wall. I collapse into a helpless mess. What else is there to do but let yourself fall to pieces?

I force my breathing to slow to a shallow pace. I rest my head on my knees and squeeze my eyes shut. I struggle to keep back my tears but they come without my permission. I watch them fall to the ground beneath me. I count them as they drop. One, two, three, four on and on and on.

I don't want to be here. Never asked to be here. I don’t deserve this. But I cannot escape. For it is impossible to escape my own mind.