remorse // moonsun

EPILOGUE.

july 23rd, 2027

wheein exhales, clutching hyejin's gift in one hand and reaching for the doorbell in the other. she debates on leaving before hearing a scream from the inside of the house, almost getting hit by a door swinging open.

      "hyejin!" she tears up, giving her old friend a big hug.

       "wheein! hey, how are you? haven't seen you since..." hyejin's lips tighten, forming a small, apologetic frown. her next words come with tears and a whisper. "i miss her."

     "the funeral, right? so do i. c'mon man, enough with that, i have so much to tell you about!" her chest feels heavy, but she couldn't let it sour today. hyejin's 35th birthday, her first time seeing her in 5 years.

     "it's been over 5 years, huh? how have you been since then?"

      they sit in hyejin's kitchen, wheein taking in her surroundings. her new place isn't big, but it's cozy. real close to the city. her style never really changed from her darker teenage years- she only got more... chic. that's the word.

     wheein looks at hyejin up and down. fur slides, fur coat, a fitted lace nightgown- chic.

    "wheein, oh my god, stop checking me out and answer-"

     they laugh together. "my bad, my bad. 5 years, huh? it's been..." insane. wheein takes a breath, tearing up once again.

     "...okay. it's been kind of crazy. for a couple months after yongsun, i, uh, i took pills. and this sounds fucking crazy, i know, but remember on your 26th birthday when you, yongsun and i went out? and she saw her dead ex- the one you never met, byul? i had a similar experience. took one xan or whatever too many, i coded a couple times. i saw her during that whole process, in the corner of the ambulance."

     hyejin listens intently, handing wheein a glass of wine. they sit in silence for a moment, giving wheein time to recollect.

     "she was crying. pleading. 'please, not like byul'. i realized then- just how fucked up the entire thing was. it was a cycle. byul coped with her trauma in an unhealthy way, smoking and taking pills and shit. yongsun smoked after byul's death. and now i took pills. byul died of an overdose, pills too. yongsun got lung cancer from smoking. and now, my organs are shutting down and i'm shitting my bowels out 'cause of all these fucking drugs."

     she felt warm, all of a sudden. wheein never noticed hyejin getting out of her chair to hug her from behind. "you're here now. wheein, you're strong."

     wheein chuckles when she feels her shoulder getting damp with hyejin's tears. "i'm okay, my dear hwasa, i'm-"

     a light knock to her head. "no," hyejin sobs. "you don't get to say you almost died and- expect me to- why didn't you call me back all this time? wheein, i-"

      "let me finish first, okay? listen, take a seat. so i realized how fucked up it all was," wheein downs her wine, hyejin sitting in the tall chair across the counter and following suit. "this some good ass wine. napa valley? anyways, it was a cycle. a cycle of unhealthy coping mechanisms. i spent a month and a half in that hospital and decided to go to rehab. it lasted 8 months in a remote area- it was an off the grid type thing. i reopened my library 2 months after that. i began tutoring kids and teens, i volunteered a lot more. went on vacations a whole lot too. it was hard with everything going on, but i managed. my last day of therapy was today, just before i came here. they stopped prescribing meds a while ago. and guess what?"

    hyejin was smiling, her dark makeup running. "what?"

     "i'm going to be a mom! i got my approval for adoption letter a week ago. he's coming in a week-" wheein pauses to pull her phone out to grab a picture. "his name is samuel. he's 3- isn't he the cutest?"

      "wheein," hyejin pulls her in for a hug. it's silent, aside from hyejin's soft sobs. "i'm so proud of you. i'm glad you broke the cycle. i'm glad you recovered. i-"

     "shhhh, i know. i heard it all. i'm proud of me too. i still have things to learn. i didn't think i could live in a world without either of them, honestly. but i fell in love with living again, eventually. there is still so much i can do. so much i can be. there are more friends to make, books to read, songs to learn, so on. i held onto the last ever love live movie coming out while i was in rehab. little things like that, yknow?"

     they talk and drink for a couple more hours, tasting expensive cheese and playing on hyejin's PS4. hyejin takes a closer look at wheein. she looks worn down, weathered, wrinkles a little more prominent. there are long, old scars under her sleeves. her hair is long and brown, a contrast to wheein's old short blonde hair. she's a bit too old to dress like an e-girl too- but hyejin doesn't mind.

     she's happy. wheein is happy. that's all that matters to her. and hyejin thinks that's the only thing that should matter. she made it through.

     "your gift, hyejin- use them tonight! expensive cuban liqour, 2 bottles. i'll be late 'cause i have work until 11, but i'll be here, okay?"

     "see you later, whee." hyejin gives her a soft smile.

     "see ya, man, i love you."