Sweet Heart [Editing?]

005

Usually Alan would have never allowed anyone else to sit in his window seat. But there Ambrose was, laid out on the peat-moss coloured cushions. His head lolled against the glass as he looked out, his focus suddenly cleaved from his thoughts as Alastair plopped down at the end of the cushion. He noticed the man was all too smiley, his joy nearly tangible.

He smiled at his arrival however. He was always happy to see him. He watched as Al seemed to chew on his words for a second before turning towards him.

"Hey, buddy," he grinned and affectionately patted the boy's leg, "So, me and Rosie were thinking." Oh, no, Ambrose thought to himself, mimicking the others smile.

"We both think that maybe you should see a counsellor about the..." He trailed off but Ambrose knew exactly what he was talking about. Alastair and Rose knew. Knew about the falling apart, about the experiments, and yes, even his captors. Though not in great detail. It was Alastair and Alan who found him in the woods that night. It was them who took him in; fed him, clothed him, nursed him back to health. He owed Alastair and Alan his life.

He always tried doing chores around the house, go on grocery runs for Rose. He knew he couldn't possibly pay them back in this lifetime but it was the least he could do. He enjoyed it. Without the occasional errands from Rose and frequenting the park with their kids, Ambrose would never leave The Tower. He'd be stuck up in his room playing video games with Septimus...Not that he'd complain.

But now, as Al fiddled with a button on his shirt he knew he needed to listen and try to do as he asked. But seeing a counsellor? He wasn't sure. He didn't want to fall apart in front of a shrink. Surely they'd stick him in psychiatric ward. But he answered with,

"Okay, Al. I...I can try it." He swore his heart was palpitating trying to keep himself from his own defenestration. Though, it was only the first floor; wouldn't do a thing. He laughed at his nihilism.

Al seemed surprised he agreed so quickly,
"Alright. Oh, um, the therapist-She's Rose's friend. She deals with cases such as yours. You know...Demons, and Faeries and stuff." He looked at him, opening his mouth like he wanted to say something. Al being Al, he said what was on his mind.
"What does it feel like?" He wondered. Ambrose heaved a sigh from his chest, and replied with the most monotonous sound he could muster,

"It's like if you ate lava and pop rocks that are also made of lava." He cracked a smirk as Al clapped him on the shoulder, affectionately, and scuttled off. He liked Alastair; he was eccentric.

What exactly would he tell the counsellor? How would he? He hardly knew how to articulate his feelings let alone explain the events ruling over him. He'd fall apart. He knew he would. He'd fall apart thinking about falling apart. It was a vicious cycle he loathed.

But he had to be rid of it.

_____

Ambrose found himself in his room alone later that evening. He sat fiddling with the smoke-filled marbles he'd collected. He looked down at it, watching the leopard made of cigarette smoke inside pace in circles. It's red eyes made of glowing ash.

Fire. Why did it always come back to fire? Cigarettes, sunsets, kisses. It was all fire. Sep's kisses were fire. A different sort of flame. One he could enjoy.
That kiss yesterday. Oh, he wanted to feel it again.
He didn't expect him to kiss so softly, but then he was naive. He'd never been kissed before now.

Though that did nothing to stop him from thinking about the kiss. His heart jolted just thinking about it. Nearly jumping out of his mouth as his phone buzzed.

*From: Sep 🐛
>Hey, you in your room?

He chuckled. Smiling at the text and answered with a quick 'yes'. He jumped again as the door opened, and Sep walked in almost immediately. He must have been standing outside the door.
"Hey!" The Irish man chirped and plopped himself down on the end of the bed, "You up for a round of MarioKart?"

Ambrose smiled, putting the marble still pinched between his fingers back into the pouch on the floor.
"Always," he crowed and crawled off the bed towards the Nintendo Switch.

They never got around to actually playing. The moment Ambrose passed him a controller and sat next to him, it was like the air shifted into a different colour. He looked at Sep, his heart suddenly racing; fluttering like a sparrow in a cage. Only settling when Sep pressed his lips to the gingers'.

He kissed back, snaking his arms around the blonde's neck; shivering as Sep's rough, callused hands held his hips and closed the space between them. Oh, this was everything.
He felt those hands push him to the bed, the bed sinking on either side of his head. In the dark light of his room, he thought Sep looked so pretty. He looked winsome anywhere they went but now, while he was hovering over his smaller body, he knew he wanted him. But...Did Sep want him?

"Ambrose...I love you." He confessed much to Ambrose's surprise.
"Can I show you how much I love you?" He found himself rapidly nodding, biting his lip as he pushed his fingers through his hair.

He felt his lips press against his neck, humming as he licked and sucked. Oh, dear lord below, he felt needier and needier as Sep ravished his body with kisses and love bites.

Then, Sep lifted his shirt and the cold air hit his chest and the scars there. His scars. He suddenly remembered the raised, lightning bolt pattern scars racing down the middle of his chest and spread over his stomach and hips. They didn't end there.

"Wait, Sep-" he gasped as his shirt was lifted over his head, his heart sinking as Sep stared. He whimpered as Sep ran his thumb over them, causing the blond to pull his hands away and look up at him.
"Ambrose, What is this...?" He sounded pained, his expression turning into devastation as he didn't get an answer.
"Okay, we're not doing this." He got up and went over to the tv, taking the controller up in his hands. Ambrose sat up, pulling a blanket over his chest. He didn't want to look at himself.

"Sep...?" His voice came out as a whisper, his fingers shaking. He'd hardly noticed the fire starting in his chest.
He watched as his love put a movie on and joined him back in the bed.
"You're beautiful, Ambrose."

"But, why?" He was puzzled, looking back from him to the tv. It was Sep's turn to look taken aback.
"Because, you deserve it. You deserve to be held." The fire was gone.