Braver Than Our Demons

Questioning Paradise

Dusty stole down the hallway towards Alexa. A maelstrom of thoughts troubled his mind, the likes of which he would not usually give light to, but this was the night he made his displeasure with Alexa's leadership known. There were things that he could say that no one else aboard could say, and when he said them, the precarious balance of power on this ship would finally tilt in favor of justice from the cold, cruel place it had been festering in.

It mattered little that Dusty was also dozing in his workshop, a roll of half-undone tape hanging from the ceiling and his body slumped across the grimy floor. He would wake up in the morning better rested than he had been in years.

Tabai was nothing if not exceedingly kind.

Pechi stood in front of the elevator. Dusty said, in a tough, crackling voice, "You should move out of the way. Alexa and I have to talk about things, and I don't know if you're entirely aware of your girth, but it appears to be blocking the elevator frame."

"Tabai," warned Pechi.

Tabai's heart froze. Dusty's face twitched into a snarl. "What are you on about?"

"Y-you sh-sh-shouldn't lie to me. I j-just walked p-p-past Dusty's workshop. Y-y-you're not exactly subtle." Pechi added, "I k-know what you are."

Tabai froze. This would be the point at which she could easily perish, had she not her wits about her, but she came prepared. "That's funny," Tabai said, the soothespeaker's grace about her speech. "I happen to know what you are as well."

Pechi blinked. "E-enlighten me."

Forgive me for this, thought Tabai, and almost meant it.

"I know your background, for starters." That was enough to widen Pechi's eyes a touch, just as Tabai swept around her side with her tail, putting on her usual girth and grace as she moved back into her Canis form. "Funny. For all that you crave beautiful things, you have such a greater capacity for burning them. Do you understand how many Sentients I would have murdered for a loving family? For a cause? For a chance to champion, when I was small, the beliefs of those who loved me? How about for everything you threw away, because of misplaced faith in a world that hated you, hated your family, and used you, and you did everything you could to support their cause even though your faith in them was shaky, at best. Seems silly, doesn't it? Doesn't it?" Tabai allowed herself a second to breathe, but the violence was at her again, growing like a violent flame inside her. "Your family's fate was entirely your fault, and one would think-- one would assume, one would conjecture that it was all in selfishness, and yet here you are, in deep space, in the least safe place to be. You couldn't even conjure the sense to save your sorry scruff when your whole family perished for it."

Pechi was spitting violently already, sounding like a dumb beast in a trap. Her fur prickled, but she could only manage a slight "F-f--", the words behind any sentiment still caught behind her tongue and in her head.

Tabai leered. "Now, why was that, Pechi? I think you came out here because you had nowhere left to go," Tabai continued, slipping into Cassie's form. Pechi's fur bristled further, and the Canira fell against the elevator, her eyes wide with desperate pain. "The Defenders never liked you, you paranoid, suspicious scrap of fur. Your family was dead. Where could you get away from yourself? Out in space, I suppose! And why not start over while you're at it, pretend there was anything moral in you, anything worth loving? You finally found someone who fit your fancy, broke through that cold, cold, cold selfish heart of yours, and yet when you told her everything, she hated you. You know she hated you."

Pechi closed her eyes. "Don't say that with her voice. She doesn't think that. Cassie doesn't hate me!"

"Did your trees tell you that?" keened Tabai, in Cassie's voice. "Do you know that because you sleep beside her petrified body, whispering things to her, because you know she can't contradict you anymore, you sick, sick animal? She was angry at you when she left. She probably became petrified still angry. Why would she want to hear from you? Don't you think she would be disgusted knowing you still wreathed your body around hers, as if you two were lovers? You're not lovers, Pechi. You didn't make some miraculous turnaround that would enable anyone to love a weasel like you. In fact, you did nothing at all as she calmly walked into death."