Wherever You Are

Chapter 4

Glancing at the clock across the room above a mahogany mantle, I rub my sore and bleary eyes.

I feel a heavy weight against my legs and see tori and Ari's legs dropped on top of my own.

Grunting I push their legs to the shaggy carpet that is the floor.

Letting my head fall back heavily I think back to last night.

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I pass the bar lit up with pink, purple, and yellow neon lights feeling the loud music pulsing through my legs from the pavement outside the establishment and walk down the road leading to Ari's apartment.

Jumping over the cracks in the sidewalk by habit, I smile sadly at the thought of my mom, thinking back to when I was younger.

Me and Jaxon. Laughing as we jumped over the cracks not wanting to see if when we stepped on one something bad would happen.

I remember crying when my foot slipped and I stepped on a crack, feeling as if I alone was going to be the reason for the world ending.

Jaxon held me and laughed at me telling me I was being ridiculous and then to prove his point stepped on every crack he saw after that.

"Now. It'll be my fault if the world ends, Kay?" He asked quietly looking back at me, a small smile on his lips.

I smile a small watery smile. I'll allow myself that.

Allowing myself to think about him every once on a while is okay, right?

Allowing myself to miss him?

I laugh at myself a bit, my thoughts then turning to his mom.

Mamma Rambo. Me and Lynnette still talked sometimes, it gets harder to look at her especially when I can see exactly where Jacob got his food looks.

Not noticing where I was going till I stumbled onto a crack and stopped in my tracks.

I looked down to see a daisy sprouting from the crack.

How's this even possible with all these tall towering buildings all around it?

How does this poor thing manage to survive?

I ask myself as my tears began to stream from my face.

Damn it!

Just once, that's all I ask for.

Why can't I, just this once not cry for the boy who broke my heart.

I want to be strong, Dammit!

I don't want him to affect me to the point where I can't think properly, can't even breath.

I'm drowning and I want to know why. Why can't I move...

I hear my phone go off.

Snapping out of my trance like state I take a long look around me, unable to beloved that I allowed myself to zone out to the point where I wasn't watching my surroundings.

Stupid.

I rush to look around for Ari's apartment an finally see the building.

Two buildings behind me.

Groaning I turn around, and trudge back to rears his building.

Checking my phone as I remembered that was what had shaken me from my dazed state, I see Ari's name and number flare up again.