BTS ANGST

Hoseok

Before you read I recommend listening to the song I put on here because that's were I got my inspiration for this chapter from. It's a good song trust me.

—-

I stood there. Looking down at him. My eyes burning with unshed tears. All of the times we have spent together flashing through my eyes. Like a movie. Everything we did together and all of the times we had together...until it all went wrong

___

"Y/N will you be my girlfriend?"

I looked up at him with wide eyes and my mouth opened in shock. I stuttered my words and couldn't think straight as he was waiting for me to respond to him, slowly walking towards me closing the gap between us with a big smile on his face,

"I-I well um-" I could feel my face heat up and my heart rate raising as he leaned down glancing at my lips and my breathe hitched as he brought his hands around my waist and his lips landed on mine softly.

It took a long minute for me to react finally closing my wide eyes and bringing my hands up to wrap around his neck.

——
You stood there besides Hoseok as he held on to your hand tightly. You felt his shaking hand and looked over at him. Tears running down his face and him constantly bringing up his arm to wipe at his runny nose.

His parents have passed away in a horrible accident and their caskets were side by side and pictures of his parents displayed on the sides with the quotes

"I will always love you mom"
"You were the best dad"

You heard him choking on a quiet sob and quickly pulled him into you.

He buried his face in your neck and held you tightly crying and whimpering repeating the words " sorry" over and over again. With your hands around him not letting go and letting him let it all out. Tears also leaving your eyes like a stream.

That's the most pain you've ever felt at that moment. Watching him just crumble and break right in front of you and you couldn't do anything to make it better. You thought it was the most painful thing you had experienced. Well you thought it was the most pain until...
—-

"No no mom....dad"

You were awaken by Hoseok mumbling in his sleep and you turned over to see his body shaking and squirming and a thin layer of sweat covering his face.

This has been going on for several weeks and was the reason why you couldn't go home and leave him after he begged you to stay with him. And you didn't plan on it and stayed awake every night, running your hands though his hair until he drifted off with his head tucked in your chest and him practically curling himself into you. Every free limb wrapped around your body.

"It's my fault...I'm sorry" his shaking only worsened as you tried to shake him awake but that didn't work and he started panting.

"Hoseok baby" you sat up and cupped both of your hands on the side of his face and saw his eyes flutter open.

Immediately his face scrunched up in pain and started quietly crying out.

"Oh Hoseok..." you leaned down and pressed your lips on his forehead. You stayed there for a minute running your free hand through his hair soothingly to calm him down.

These were the nights you had to go through with him for a couple of months and things only seemed to get worse but you still prayed you can see his bright smile again.

—-

"I lost my job! They fired me for missing so much and they said I was to "slow". Well it's not my fault BOTH my parents died and it was all my fault! What kind of fuckery-" he threw the glass of alcohol he had in his hand across the room and it shattered into pieces with a loud crash. You stood there in shock. You were scared. But not because of the glass... because of him. He has been drinking and getting drunk a lot and it was starting to break even more seeing him fall apart. You asked the guys for help but every time they would come knock on your door, they were practically kicked out by Hoseok who couldn't stand talking about his "bad habits" and how he "needs help". He thought he was fine but you and everyone else knew he has going crazy.