Learning to Love Without You (Nateiplier/Septiplier AU)

March 11, 2018

"No."

It wasn't like Mark could ignore Bob's phone calls and texts forever, but he wasn't going to make it any easier to be pestered by the taller man. Bob has been sending constant signals out that he wants to know how things are going with Jack. Usually slipping in leading questions during the days that he is able to chat, but for reasons that Mark is still figuring out he keeps Bob at a distance.

"I'm not expecting nitty gritty details," Bob grumbles on the other end if the phone. "Just that Mandy is asking, so I'm asking too."

Mark sighs into the receiver, and Bob backpedals a little.

"Ok, Mandy and I want to know how things are with you two. Jack is staying just as hushed up as you. Did you guys make some sort of dating secrecy blood pact?"

Mark allows his mind to wander as to how that would actually look. He and Jack sitting somewhere in the middle of a circle of candles with their hands intertwined  and a slow trickle of blood falling to the ground below. How morbid, but in a twisted way it would be kind of erotic. 

"Mark? Damn it, did you walk away from the phone or something?"

"No, not I'm still here," Mark replies, his right finger pressing against his temple. "We've been fine, all right? Jack is a great guy and we've been having a nice time together."

Already knowing that wasn't going to be enough to silence Bob forever, he listens as Bob makes a small noise in the back of his throat. Fairly certain that it was Bob biting back a follow up question. 

"Ok, fine. Just...keep us up to date if you two are at least doing anything dramatic? Like killing each other or running off to get married in Mexico?"

They both laugh, with Mark's of course drowning out Bob's bellow of a chuckle. 

"I doubt either of those extremes will happen," Mark assures. He places himself back on the couch as he begins to put on his shoes and lace up his sneakers.

"Doubtful isn't the same as never, you know."

"I was married to Nate, Bob. I never say that nothing is impossible."

"Fair enough."

The rest of the conversation was pleasant, with Bob pushing gently for Jack and Mark to come over for dinner soon so they all can hang out. Mark moves his fingers through his thick hair as he mulls it over in his head, being as vague as possible until he can talk to Jack about it. Painfully aware that a kiss didn't mean that they were serious, even if Mark feels like he definitely wants to start heading that way. 

After he hangs up with Bob he spends the next few minutes deciding if he should call Jack. The plan in his mind of taking them both out for coffee and maybe a talk? He frowns at himself, annoyed at how noncommittal the entire thing sounds. 

Mark is aware that he likes Jack. A lot. He has really vocalized it much, but the feelings in his chest are screaming that it's the case. Even if the ghost of his dead husband wasn't floating in and out of his life to confirms what he already knows. 

He can't make up his mind if Nate occasionally popping in is a comfort or not. Mark knows that it's his brain fucking with him. Some sort of remnants of grief that was still lingering in the back of his thoughts, but still...it was scary and unnerving to see the brown eyes and deep dimpled smile appear in the mirror or hear the smooth voice on the other end of a phone that had been long before disconnected.

Part of him wants to tell Bob about what's going on. Bob has been one of his best friends for over a decade. He had watched every part of his and Nate's life together. Bob was the first person who had raced to the hospital after everything had fallen apart. His sturdy shoulders held Mark up was he felt like his world was forever shattered. Bob wouldn't judge him, would he? 

Then again, if this was a reversed situation and Bob had admitted that he was seeing Mandy in every reflective surface Mark isn't sure if he would be able to do anything but tell Bob that he needed professional help. That he wasn't crazy necessarily, but things like that definitely are not sane. 

Mark takes a deep breath, only now realizing that he was holding it. His lungs burn as he stares at his phone. Maybe he can will some sort of force to make it ring with the familiar name of Nate flash on the screen. Maybe talking to Nate or whatever this is would make his heart stop hurting like it did on the night of that phone call. 

It is almost disappointing when the phone stays stubbornly silent. Almost disappointing.