Rogue Wolf

Chapter Two - Lousy, Grouchy, Antisocial, and Hopelessly in Love

I went right back the next day. Did you really expect me to stay home in my den? If so, you have much to learn. What can I say? I wanted to see Wing again.

I didn't run into any more patrols along the way, which was a relief. I scented food, but I didn't care. I only thought about Wing, and how much I wanted to see her again. I was an idiot, blinded by my feelings. I don't know why I thought Wing would feel the same as I did. I don't know what make me think she liked me as much as I liked her. I remembered the wound I had inflicted upon her with a painful twinge of guilt.

I didn't mean to hurt her. I'm so sorry...Will she even forgive me?

I was obviously quite conflicted. But I still went to see her. Do I get points for that?

My fur was getting damp and cold from the morning dew. With every step I brushed by more wet leaves and grass, my legs and underbelly soggy with the ever-growing population of freeloading dewdrops. The last thing I wanted was to run into Wing reeking like a wet dog.

So, naturally, I ended up shaking out my soaked fur all over Wing's face. Lucky me!

"What the-?" Wing sneezed, making me jump. "Where did you come from? You smell like a wet dog!" The she-wolf pawed at her face, brushing off the water droplets I had so courteously sprayed all over her. Classy.

"Oh, um, er...Sorry?" I almost kicked myself in the head. I was such an idiot.

Focus! Regain your composure! Stop looking like a moron! Why is this so hard?! Argh!

Wing tilted her head, as if questioning my somewhat questionable sanity. "Um...Why are you staring at me?"

Okay, I clearly blew my first and second impressions. I think we've clarified that I'm socially awkward.

"I was, uh..." I glanced around, feeling as if the whole world were watching my less than perfect conversational skills. "I was admiring the...bush. Behind you. It's, um...a nice bush."

You know, it takes real talent to convey such levels of stupidity in so few stammering, awkward words. Truly awe-inspiring. I should get an award.

"O...kay?" Wing said slowly.

I felt like a million butterflies were rioting in my stomach. I opened my mouth to say something semi-intelligible, my pelt burning in embarassment. But the sound I made sounded more like a dying chipmunk than vaguely understandable speech. An awkward squeaky groan. Just the thing to do when you want to sound insane. Perfect. This encounter was going south at breakneck speed, the scenario I had gone over in my head a thousand times melting away like the last of winter's snow.

"Your whiskers look nice today!" I said finally, earning myself yet another confused look from Wing.

Wow. That sounded way better in my head.

I had been alone and on my own for so long that I had nearly forgotten how to talk with another wolf. I was a loner, and I had no experience with Pack wolves, other than their fangs. I knew how to fight. I didn't know how to talk. I wished that, somehow, I could fight my way through this. But I couldn't. It was driving me crazy.

"What I meant to say was..." I paused, shuffling my paws nervously, unsure of how to continue. "I...I..."

Why can't I just spit it out already? I've faced angry bears and fearsome wolves and so much more! Why is this more terrifying than a bear attack? Why is this so hard?!

My heart was about to leap out of my chest. I had done everything that I should not have done. I had gotten her wet, made a fool of myself, and stuttered away through most of the conversation. Would I be able to salvage the situation, or was this all simply hopeless?

I shook my head to clear my thoughts, standing up straight and looking Wing in the eye. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves, then spoke.

"Wing...I like you. More than I've liked any other wolf. I know I'm not much. I'm just Sleek. Just a rogue wolf. That's all I've ever been. Probably all I'll ever be. What I'm trying to say is...I feel like I could be something more - more than a loner, a renegade, more than an outcast." I paused, turning over the words in my head. "I feel like I could be more with you, Wing."

Wing's gaze was gentle and deep with emotion, like a shining blue lake filled with the dreams of the night. "Sleek, I...You know what the Alpha will say."

I was crushed. She didn't like me after all. All this was for nothing. It broke my heart.

Wing winked. "Then again, who cares what Root thinks? I never really listen to him anyway."

My broken heart zipped back together faster than a falcon's dive. I didn't try to keep my tail still. I let the scruffy thing bat away. I was overflowing with giddy glee. My tail was swinging so much, any faster and I would zoom into a tree, propelled by record speed wagging.

Yep. I was still a goof. But I was a happy goof. A very, very happy goof.

"Seriously? Oh, I'm just so happy I could burst!" I barked gleefully.

"Oh really? I couldn't tell," said Wing, her cheery tone heavy with sarcasm. She was on the verge of laughter.

It was perfect. Things might not have gone exactly as planned, but Wing liked me, and I was so, so happy.

"I have to go. Root will be wondering where I went. Let's meet up again at the old maple tree by the river tomorrow night," Wing suggested.

"Okay!" I called back as she turned and vanished into the undergrowth, her silky gray fur melting back into the shadows.

If only  was able to meet her that night. But that was when everything went wrong. A nightmare spawned from a past I had tried so hard to forget. The night when everything went wrong.