Special Property (BxB)

Chapter 59. All Apologies

The art of apologizing has been lost to a great many in the western parts of the world. Many times, people will overuse the phrase, "I'm sorry," when they are not, in fact, sorry. Some use the phrase in lieu of "Excuse me" when they bump into someone at the grocery store or make some other minor mistake.

It's a common practice for many to think that the act of apologizing is to simply state "I'm sorry," and yet they are baffled when the offended party asks them, "What do you mean, 'you're sorry?'" In such cases, it apparently is not enough to simply say sorry.

Another group will say that they are sorry in hopes that it may absolve them of some portion of guilt due to a poor decision made on their part, or they hope to somehow mitigate, or lessen, the consequences. How many children will say that they are sorry as a way to manipulate their parents to lessen the discipline they are about to receive? That behavior, if never corrected, will manifest itself in adults who don't know what it truly means to be sorry.

—The Lost Art of Apologizing by Dr. Jonathan Franz (2009)

Day 15

Kato woke up. He looked at the time, 4:59. He had an hour to sleep still. He got up and went to the bathroom and came back and laid in his bed, wide awake.

Kato spent a lot of time thinking about Takahashi. He also thought about what Murata said. Leave it to me to piss off my only two friends in this life, Kato chided himself. First person he'd run into would likely be Murata. He thought for a while on how to apologize. Then he wondered when he would find time to apologize to Takahashi. He didn't feel that he was totally in the wrong with either of them, but he conceded that he wasn't totally right either. He concluded that he simply lacked the ability to communicate properly and he would try again with both of them as soon as he could.

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Murata gave Kato a nod as he sat down. Kato looked at him, trying to assess his mood.

"Good morning," Kato offered.

"Good morning," Murata replied.

"I'm sorry—" Kato started before he was interrupted.

"Kato-san. It's too early for this," Murata said.

"Oh." Kato looked back to his food.

After a minute of silence, Murata spoke up. "Apologize to your seme first, then you can apologize to me."

"What makes you think I haven't already?" Kato asked.

Murata simply glared at Kato.

"Nevermind," Kato said.

The two ate in silence.

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Kato walked into class. There was still 5 minutes before class started. Takahashi was at his desk looking at his book.

Kato walked up to Takahashi's desk and leaned against the wall. He looked at Takahashi.

Without looking up, Takahashi asked, "Yes?"

Kato felt very guilty that things were not comfortable between him and his seme. He sighed. "I wasn't being a very good uke. I wasn't supportive."

Takahashi put down his book but didn't look up. "Yeah?"

"What I said came out wrong." Kato paused for a moment then looked down at his feet. "I'm not going to leave you. But I will be sad if we are forced to be apart for a while."

"Me too," Takahashi said quietly.

Kato didn't know what else to say so he went to his desk and sat down.