bts smut / one shots

love literally

by incadence (ao3)

When Jimin said he wanted a dildo for
his birthday, he didn't mean that he actually wanted a dildo for his birthday. His friends do have a habit of taking things a little too literally though.

It's probably the really hot waitress' fault. He just had to strut past with that fantastic piece of ass, while they were discussing presents. Stupid hormones had exploded right in Jimin's face, and careless words were mumbled. Yeah, fuck him. Seriously.

Needless to say, Jimin was completely unsuspecting when his birthday came along and his friends presented him with a beautifully wrapped box.

"Thank you!" Jimin says brightly, already untying one of the ribbons. Seokjin gives a startled yelp, snatching the box right out of Jimin's hands.

"Yah!" he says. "Don't open it now!"

"What?" Jimin says with an exaggerated pout. "Why?"

Namjoon gives Jimin a quick wink. "I think you'll rather like to open it in the privacy of your own room." That only made Jimin even more confused.

Jeongguk chokes, stifling a laugh with his hands. "Namjoon please. Bad images, bad images."

Seokjin slaps Jeongguk with the back of his hand. "Shut up, you're going to ruin the surprise."

At this point, Jimin's brows have knitted together in wide eyed confusion. "Wha...?"

With a sigh, Yoongi takes the box from Seokjin's hands and presses it to Jimin's chest. "Enjoy your present, and Happy 19th birthday dumbass."

"Thanks." Jimin smiles, fumbling the box in his hands.

Something in Yoongi's expression changes almost imperceptibly. He leans closer, enough for Jimin to smell the slight tang of cologne clinging to his skin. "And if..." His voice drops, smooth like silk against Jimin's ear. "-you need help, I'll be happy to lend a hand."

"I heard that!" Jeongguk sighs, putting his hands to his ears. "And I'm never going to recover."

Yoongi merely shrugs, giving Jimin a sugary smile. "Enjoy."

"Thanks?" Jimin blinks down at the box, the contents still as mysterious as ever.

He holds the box to his ear and rattles it. The contents of the box seem hard and singular, so right now the options on the table are, rap book (What else would Jimin need help on?), that pokemon game he wanted or a robot dog.

"Oh, remember to charge it after you're finished!" Namjoon says, dimples appearing in his cheeks as he grins.

Jimin nods happily, clutching the box to his chest.

He really hopes they bought him a robot dog.

-

It is most definitely not a robot dog.

Jimin screeches, as he flails the box out of his hands. The vibrator hits the floor with a soft thump, followed by an explosion of glitter and almost endless packets of condoms.

His friends bought him a sleek and shiny vibrator and fucktons of glitter. Jimin whimpers slightly as he almost trips on the packets of condoms littered across the floor.

He's covered in glitter and surrounded by condoms.There is a vibrator on the floor.

He kind of wants to cry.

"Nope!" Jimin says as he kicks the offensive thing right under the bed before falling onto his sheets with a whimpered sigh.

"I'll be happy to lend a hand." Yoongi's words ring in his ear, smooth and sensual and now making a whole lot more sense.