Okay so I’m having a little bit of writers block with Finding Love in LA I noticed I have like a ton of tweets that CC posted saved in the notepad on my phone. So I decided to share them with you because they are pretty dang funny! So enjoy!
-Early mornings can fly a kite after they take a hike! Actually, that sounds like a fun day for a morning….
-This just in! Champagne tickles my innards. That is all…
-#ccqotd “Hey! Can I borrow your toothpaste? I spent all of my money on Plan B this weekend.”
-#ccqotd “Hey your zipper is down” “Thanks! I better zip that up before ladies get hungry!” I will not even mention who said that tonight
-my date knocked on my hotel room door hours ago, and I answered naked screaming “you ready to party or what?” The housekeeper was peepin too
-Laziest morning in the biggest bed. I love it.
-Half horse. Half man. All awesome!
-So someone gave me a gift of belly lint today because I haven’t seen them in a while. I’m kinda into it…
-I am reading the progression of text messages I sent from yesterday, and it is very clear that I get more awesome as the day goes on
-Pickles for days!!
-Because of @ellaisobelcole (Ella Cole) I will be dancing “the mashed potatoe” all day. Whatever that means… whoopity whoop whoop
-Rappin with John Otto from Limp Bizkit. Shit is getting real…
-#ccqotd “Can you imagine getting fucked in the tattoo?” No other combination of words will beat that today.
-Some of you guys are very strange. Guess what… ME TOO! I will never understand the fan fiction thing tho
-@sebastionbach (Sebastion Bach) Just got a lap dance to 18 and Life. Not sure if it was your voice or her buns that got me going…
-Anybody else notice that Fox News looks like a beauty pageant now? Did they just fire females over 35?
-I got 6 dollars and a bow tie
-When was the last time you laughed so hard you couldn’t breathe and your stomach hurt?
-I punish you to death by sexy. Wait… huh? You bet….
-All girls should wear yoga pants. Always
-Apparently everyone took my yoga pants advice and they are all at McCarran airport. I think I am missing my flight on purpose
-Two hour flight delay! Even the air traffic controllers wanted me to get hammered before heading to Vegas. Bachelor party!! Wooooooooooo
-Somebody smells like poop in this airport line, and it isn’t CC
-If I have to deal with snotty girls again today, one is going to get a fist to the teeth. I have been building my punchin’ muscle
-Hey baby que paso? I thought I was your only vato hahaha. Things are getting weird…
-Ahhh! This “Call Me Maybe” song can take a hike today
-@AshleyPurdy is the sheriff of the wild wild west
-Oh my god… I am losing my mind. LA has the hottest people ever. Keep it together ceeses, keep it together…
-I seriously never know what is in store for me when I wake up every day. Don’t know if that is good or bad… goodnight creepy crawlers
