Every Breathe You Take

lost soul

SILENCE…

I walk back to my room and lock my door.

The shirt and pants i layed on my bed are still there. I slip them on and climb into my bed blocking out every single noise around me. I just want it to be over. I slowly drift into a deep sleep. The only thing on my mind as i pass out is if Eddie really meant what he said.

I wake up to the sound of the front door opening. I softly groan and slip out of my warm bed. I tiptoe out my bedroom and walk down the stairs, checking to see who it was.

“Oh, Hey bev” I said walking to the kitchen.

“Hey” She said softly, avoiding eye contact.

“What's wrong?” i Immediately ask her, noticing her tone.

“Uh has your dad been home?” She asks walks around the counter.

“No actually. Not in a few days. But he always does this. He should be home today or tomorrow.” I reply picking out a box of oatmeal.

“Well, there was a body found in the quarry water last night and it was identified as possibly Jimmy L/N, Y/N.” She says walking over to me.

“No. NO. Your lying. Your my friend! YOUR NOT SUPPOSE TO LIE TO ME!” I yell, pushing her away from me.

“Wait, Y/N” She calls out for me.

“Friends. Don't. Lie!” I scream, running away from her.

“Y/N?” she questions.

I stare coldly to the floor.

“Get out” I say pointing to the door

“what?” She says, with a hurt tone.

“I said Get out! Now!” I yell at her, walking up to her and dragging her to the door.

She gives me a hurt look as i slam the door in her face. I take deep breaths. He can’t be dead. He wouldn't leave me too. He promised. I walk back to the kitchen, putting away the oatmeal. I can't eat right now. I tidy up the kitchen and the living room.

I just lost all my friends. I can't lose my Dad too.

I don't realize I'm crying til i feel a tear drop on my hand. He wasn't the best father but he is my only father. I sink onto the floor and bring my knees to my chest. I must've cried for hours before i fell asleep again because i woke up to banging on the front door. I slowly walk up to the door. As i come closer i hear a voice whisper-yell, “She's fu*king physco guys! Can we get go home?!” I recognize the voice as Eddie's. He's words bring tears to my eyes again. “Go away.” i yell, my voice breaking.

“Shit! Eddie! She heard you, Dumbass!” I hear Ben yell.

“please, just go away.” I beg.

“Just let me in” Bev pleads.

I raise my hand and unlock the door without touching it.

They fall in front of the door opening.

I fall back onto the couch.

“Oh fuck.” Bill breaths out when he sees me.

I can tell i look like complete sh*t by the looks of their faces.

“Y/N…” Bev coos.

“leave me to die”

Eddie turns around and starts walking but is yanked back my ben.

“Dick” I whisper under my breath.

“Why can't you guys see that I wanna be alone? Do you know how horrible you made me feel Eddie? The rest of you guys just fucking fled like the purge had just started. You guys were supposed to be my friends. You guys were supposed to stick with me through everything. You guys begged me to show you my insecurity that I need to get rid of, and you guys run away. You guys made me feel like complete sh*t. And just to top it all off, my dad might be dead, and I can't do anything about it. Or I'll get put in child protective services. None of you guys can look me in my eyes and tell me you feel what I feel right now.” I say tears falling fast. They all just look at me with faces of pity. Eddie looks the guiltiest of all of them.