I thought this girl was the one

Beginning of a painful loveless bond

It all begin back in 2018 it was a cold Winter's day clouds are passing through the sun was barely out I was on my way to somewhere  when I started having this strange feeling what I thought was a strong bound between me and this woman, her name just too painful to think or talk about.  Even though I thought I was developing this bound with her, I couldn't see that she was going to break my heart.  It started like any relationship started it started with a hello and introductions. She had a smile that convinced me that she would be the right one for me until then it has changed,    It also has been a rough downfall in my life and I never thought that once I had left a faithful woman I felt like I was going to be unfaithful to not only her but to me as well, I know I had hurt Megan so many times and I never knew that I had hurt her beyond deep.   She told me to stop talking to Megan but I told her no and she wouldn't understand why I still talk to Megan and she never will.   I have never thought I would even be with someone who wouldn't want to be with me ever and I still was too blind to see it and I have always felt like she didn't care about me at all,  I never really knew what it was like to be with someone who makes no effort to be with someone and now I finally had that feeling and I just couldn't believe that a person wouldn't make an effort to have a relationship with someone that they say they "love you"  but never really show it, it made me sick to my stomach and I cried every night thinking to myself what am I doing with my life trying to make it work with someone who doesn't want to make it work with me?   This went on for a good while and I have decided that she was not the one for me and that I needed to get Megan back in my life and the question is how will I do that? I knew I was not going to last with heartbreaker but I promise you all her name will be revealed later on in this story and I never thought that she would say one moment she wants me and the next she doesn't want me is that messed up or what?  sometimes women are not that easy to understand.  And it seemed to me that my life was nothing without Megan and she didn't know that me and heartbreaker would not last and why did I think I could start over with someone else I was not sure why or how I felt about it.   Relationships are tough work but they can last a lifetime and as long as couples are communicating everything will be alright. I asked "Heartbreaker, do you see now why Relationships are so hard to find the right one?" Heartbreaker said "Now I understand what you were trying to tell me, but I still want you all to myself!" she finished with an evil snark on her face.    I was very speechless, very angry at her and at the fact that she wanted me all to herself and to be honest I thought that I could start over with some one new but I knew it would not work and I would leave her but she didn't know that yet.  Sometimes it takes a few bad relationships to realize that you have left a woman who has not only been loyal to you but also help with  your family and take extra special care of you, and if she is willing to forgive you after being in a rough patch and a hard relationship she is worth keeping.  Later that night after playing video games, I took a look on my phone and saw all the memories that me and Megan shared and then my phone rang it was Megan and she has asked me "Why did you ever think that you could start over with Heartbreaker if she wants you all to herself?!" she had tears streaming down her face and I could tell she was still very hurt over the breakup and she had her t.v. going on in the background.  I explained that she could be the one but she then hung up and turned off her phone for the rest of the night.   "God, how can I make things right with Megan?" I asked with fresh hot tears going down my checks knowing that I have messed things up with her and I desperately wanted to make things right with her again but wasn't sure how.     Still a part of me wanted to try with her but another part of me really wanted to get Megan back in my life because...... she is the one and only woman who has ever made me feel like I was a part of her family, not left out of events, and always thought about me even if I couldn't go to events with her.