Ishqbaaaz : Family?!

chapter 25 : Opening old wounds (2)

" It still haunts me , although I am no more afraid of pools thanks to Shivaay and Dadi , yet It still hurts , if it wasn't for me , Ratan would be alive , his mother wouldn't miss him , if it wasn't for me, My aunt wouldn't have ended up in mental hospital .." he said but Gauri interrupted him saying :
" if it weren't for I would be a slave for Kali and his brothers right now , or maybe I would be dead by now , and my mother too " she said with a smile trying ti reassure him , but it didn't really work ..
After ages of silence :
" My teenage years were the best , Shivaay and Rudra helped me to improve art skills , although they used to make fun of me from time to time " he smiled then chuckled alittle "and you know school was good , then I found this place , although  I despise my family name , it gave me the power to do anything I want , so I had everything a teenager would want , I had a family but no family , I only had my brothers and Dadi , not that I complain but my parents fights spoilt any good I haf in my life , every joy I should feel turned into pain , then when I was in my early twenties Mom was a complete alcohol addict , I Couldn't stand to see her so weak , I wanted to forget her broken state , I ... I didn't mean to ... it wasn't my fault .... it was actually ... but I couldn't help it ... " his voice was shaking and I couldn't understand what was he talking about .

Automatically she hugged him again to give him comfort , she just felt he needed it right now . And from his hesitation she knew that something big was gonna be uncovered ... finally .

She made herself emotionally ready for whatever confession is coming next then gave him a nod .
" continue " she said .

" I don't know Gauri , it's the beginning of the worst , I am not sure I can talk about it , I don't what you will think "he said grimly

" pour your heart out I am ready " she said smiling "

" One of my ' friends ' knew some people who sold what he called ' pain reliever ' at first I thought he meant the pain killers you know the medicine ,he offered me few pills and asked me try them but I refused , he told me they were useful at the right time , I knew that something  was off but didn't really care ,but one day I was trully upset after one of my parents' fights and he offered me the 'pain relievers' again saying it will help with depression and I as a dump just took them and out of anger I used them , there were magic , all my pains , physical and emotional just disapeared , and before I realised it I became .... addicted " he said trying to avoid eye contact with his wife .

On the other hand Gauri was astonished , she felt her internals become hollow , she was scared to ask if what she understood was correct or not , well there was no way she would me mistaken , but it just felt so wrong .
She looked at her husband's direction , he shook his head then burried it in his palms .
That confirmed her doubts .

Her strong , cold , harsh hippie used to be a drug addict !!

She was astoished , she didn't know how to feel , angry , sympathetic, dissapointed...
No , she had to be supportive right now , but she is just so astonished to do anything .

She knew that being harsh was a mask , since the very beginning she knew that that person ( Omkara ) is hiding lots of things .
She was ready to listen to him to support him .
She was happy he finally opened up...
But this , she never saw it coming ..

She stood up to collect her thoughts and emotions .

While Om just sat his face in his palms and spoke in a rough voice .

" told you you don't wanna know " .

It was Gauri's turn to shake her head and sigh .

" I know I am at fault , I shouldn't have been so weak , so selfish, I only hurt myself and others more , I disappointed my brothers , everything they did to me , I just threw that away for these things , but they didn't give up they kept trying to get me out of it , sometimes it blew in their faces but at the end they managed to stop my addiction , but it took them everything , I took everything , I don't deserve it , I don't deserve their trust and care , not even your trust I TOLD YOU  "