Abuse and Records

When?

Taehyung's POV

I grabbed my box and set it in my lap. The black lid slides off and I grab the rope and play with it. Twisting it around my hand and wrist. I giggle slightly then stand up. I tie the rope into a noose and put it on the fan. Im about to slip it on when my door bursts open. I gasp and stand still. Jungkook and Jimin walk in. Their eyes fixed on me. The rope still around my neck and they come running towards me. "TaeTae.... What are you doing?" Jungkook asks his big doe eyes collecting tears. "I'm running away Kookie. Joonie hurts me. I can't do this." I reply shaking. Jimin looks like he is crying before he yells, "HOW COULD YOU? HOW COULD YOU LEAVE US? How could you leave me...." He breaks down and I get down and hug them both. I notice that Kookie is holding a game and it's Rainbow Seige. My favorite game. The little boys eyes are big and doe like. His body trembles, like a leaf. I can't believe I almost lost them. My mind is telling me to let go and go back to my rope. My comfort. But Jungkook grabs my arm and pulls me to the floor where he hugs me and cries into my shoulder. Jimin joining us. My body is numb. My mind is reeling. My ears aren't picking up the voices of my two bestfriends. My mouth is dry. My cheeks are soaked. I can't breath. My lungs are clenching. My body is burning for oxygen. Why. Why. Why. Why.
"BECAUSE YOU DESERVE IT!"

What the hell was that? I look around to see if the boys had said anything but they were just crying and whispering to me. Then i conclude.

It was me.
My mind.
My body.
Me.
It was all me.
And,
Namjoon.
Him.
He did this.
I can't let them know.
The boys can't know.
But i can't take it.