Deeper [Book Two]

Four

"Your heart is mine, I need it
If you leave, I'm leaving
Let's go
'Cause I'm tired of moving slow, slow"

"What!" The shock I felt in this moment was too much. Before  I can fully pay attention to the girl sitting there, I turn on my heels and head back out. I wasn't about to do this. This was a huge mistake. Coming here was suppose to put me at ease but I was getting worked up by the second.

"Kehzia! Wait, let me explain?"

"No! I don't need an explanation right now. Please just let me leave, I can't deal with  this right now." My words flow without me thinking much of their impact. It was harsh but I just couldn't take this now. I see Erik standing as he sees me and my mom rushing out the kitchen and even though I wanted to stay here, I make up my mind that for the time I'm in the states, I'm staying with him. I didn't know how to feel to the point where  I didn't want to be around my mother. I couldn't help but feel like my mom did this on purpose, she knew why I was coming and found this little distraction or I was so messed up by everything that I thought everyone was out to lie and hurt me.

"Let's go." I say to Erik who can see the situation is a bit tense and immediately leads me outside. A huge part was grateful he didn't listen to me when I said I got it because clearly I didn't. I couldn't look back, I knew my mother's face was probably pained but I didn't want that to guilt me into staying here and dealing with things I wasn't ready to deal with.

Erik opened my door and I hopped in, not once looking in the direction of the house. For some reason I was sick to my stomach at everything that was taking place. I felt bad for rushing out like I did because i don't think my mother would lie about me having a sister, I just couldn't deal with that right now. All I wanted to know was about my father and his involvement in this nuclear weapons business and how much she really knew. Naomi had nothing to do with this, so I felt like an asshole for just rushing out like that.

"Where do you want to go?"  I hear him ask and my mind is too frazzled  to make a decision now that I mumble a soft anywhere. Anywhere was  better than here but I wanted to get out of my mind. Suddenly I feel stupid for not taking a pill or two before I felt. I was hoping for a calm conversation but now my nerves were on ten and I wanted to self medicate. Breathing deeply, I let my mind calm down and fix my eyes on the road.

The drive feels like hours but by the time I realize where we are, I smell the ocean and I'm grateful that we didn't go back to his place. Getting out of the car, the breeze makes me feel at ease as I try to process all my thoughts. For the most part Erik just watches me as I go over everything in my head. After standing alone for a few minutes, I feel him next to me and he pulls me in for a quick hug before asking me if I was ok.

"I'm fine...i'm just so confused. I thought I was going to get some answers. Instead I have more questions. I know you heard..."

"I did...clear your head and once you're ready again then you can have a conversation with your mom. She has some explaining to do." He speaks as he settles next to me.