My Life

WTF!!!

Ok so I had a boyfriend but now I don't. He ended it yesterday 9/3/14. We were doing just fine. Then he decides that he is tired. He was tired of our relationship. I can't believe he did that. I cried because I really liked him.

I was a little upset because he started talking to his friend all the time. She had just been dumped by a guy who get his ex pregnant. I understude why they talked but then he wasn't texting me much any more. But we worked through it I thought. And after we broke up guess what...they started dating. He didn't bother to wait a single day. Plus he isn't leaving me along. It's like he's trying to fix it but he continue to talk about crawling into a whole or killing himself. I'm so pissed at him and can't show it because if I do he'll bug me or want to kill himself.

Most of the boys I've dated were crazy, suicidal, or fucking jerks. But like one or two wasn't. Could there be something wrong with me that draws the bad guys to me? Or is there a lot of shitty guys around me? I can't stand it any more! I think I'm going to go crazy or something.

Right now I want to change. I want to change the way I look and live my life. I can't change my looks because the clothes and stuff I want cost too much. And I don't have a job or anything so that doesn't help.

Mostly I guess I need some friends to hang out with. Which means outside of school because I hate school. But lucky me this is my last year in high school. Which means I ether get a job, go to college, or move out which is now my moms rules.

My sister Corey is turning 16 soon so I have that to look forward to. I'm lucky to have her. She is one of the only people I can talk to openly. If I move out I'll miss her the most. I'd do pretty much anything for her.

I want a good life. I don't hang out with people outside of school because I know we wouldn't do much. I don't want to be the person I am. I want a wild life and have fun. But I won't get that because no one I know has a car and is around my age. All the guys around where I am always want something from you. And the girls ether stay with their groups or aren't the kind of people who hang out like I want to...

Thank you for reading if you did.

Please comment, like or whatever.

I'd like to have some new people to talk to and stuff so don't be afraid of me.