Alone

left behind... again 💔

(TRIGGER WARNING: mentions self harm, depression, and extreme sadness!!!)

"GOD. FUCKING. DAMNIT!!!! "
He screamd as he threw a ceramic mug at the wall. He should have known better than to trust that he would be enough for that guy.

"Funking asshole ..... Cheted on me with some BITCH!!!"

He threw a plate this time at the last word. What did he care though, it's not like they were his plates anyway. That's right Namjoon was trashing his, now ex's, house.
Once he let off enough steam, he wrote a note,

"don't cheat on a guy who's got nothing to lose, bitch.
- Namjoon :)

He knew his ex was too much of a pussy to publicly admit that he's a lying, cheating, son of a bitch so he wouldn't dare to sue him. Besides Namjoon had nothing to lose and now he had no one to lose... Again.

His mother was the first to leave, then his father, then his brother, and all his friends followed shortly after.
This brake up was just another reminder that no one is to be trusted under most circumstances.

He only had one friend but even then he only keeps Hobi around so that he doesn't end up killing himself at the end of every day. Wasn't the best but it was better than nothing.

He ploped down on his couch and blocked the cheating asshloe. He called Hobi mainly because he was bored.
(AN: italics= Hobi bold= Namjoon)

"hey, Joonie!!!" he yelled more loud and cheerful than necessary.

"hey, Hobi. My boyfriend Cheted on me." He anouced unfazed and unamused.

"Aw no... Damn dude, I'm so sorry to hear that." he was genuinely concerned about the news knowing Namjoon's past and current issues.

"it's whatever, man, he was a dick before hand anyway. " which wasn't a lie. He was a massive dick.

"well yeah, but you didn't deserve to be treated like that."

"Again,bro it's whatever." at this point he was just done with people but he didn't want to be completely alone at the moment

"Hey! I got an idea... But you might not like it..."

"if it's for me to hook up with somebody you know, honestly I don't care if they end up Harvesting my organs I'll meet them. I don't care." those three words were his favorite but it was true. There was almost nothing he cared about anymore. It's been this way since he was 13.

"he won't harvest you're organs. he's a sweet pea, wouldn't hurt a fly. I'll call him and set a date for you two." he chuckled

"sure, whatever bro. I'll talk to you later then. Bye."

"bye bye! XD" he hung up to call Namjoon's potential husband (so he called him)

He sighed heavily
"great, just another person to leave me."
He tossted his phone on the couch, uncaring.

He took a shower and got ready to go to bed. He got little to no sleep, just like every other night. His thoughts raced throughout his mind. He fantasized his own death and how blissful it would feel to get all this weight off his chest. How good it would be to finally have his mind cleared of all the shitty memories and his body finally numb.

(Skip the next part if you don't want to here about self harm...)

He looked over at his bathroom, got up, and picked up his old razor...

"Hello, old friend.... long time no see..."
he wisperd to no one in particular as he rolled up his long sleeve t-shirt and dug the blade into the flesh of his wrists adding to the collection of old scars that forever lay on his skin.

He cut both his arms at least 4 times, each time finding that he felt nothing... he just kept his bored, blank expression as the blade sliced into his flesh and the air slowly turned his blood into a scab that he would pick at later.

"Huh... nothing... should've expected it at this point..."
He mumbled to himself as he tossed the bloody blade on the counter without a single care.

(Okay you're safe now... still sad but it's over ❤️)

He was just glad it was Friday and he didn't have to go to work Saturday morning. Nevertheless he got little to no sleep... he layed there just wishing he could stop breathing or just stop existing altogether...

His phone rang so he picked it up and answered it without even looking at the caller ID.

"Hey, Hobi. What's up?" He didn't have to look he knew it was Hobi. Nobody ever called him

"Heyyyy dude! Guess what, he's so excited to meet you. He wants to see you tonight, that is if your interested."

"Hmmmmm.... *sigh* fuck it it's not like I have anything better to do..."

"Awesome!!! We'll have a dobble date taehyung is gonna be so excited to see his best friend."

"I'm gonna go out on a whim here and assume the other guy is Tae's best friend cuz I barely know him..."

"Yup. Dress nicely or at least publicly presentable. Tae and I will pick you up at 6pm. See you later."

"See ya."

"Love you...." he smiled

"Bye."

Hobi hung up still smiling. He knew that it was hard for namjoon to say those things. It's not like Hobi though the other didn't care about him. Namjoon was the kind to show you that he cared rather than tell you. His life taught him that words were empty and promises were nothing but a future disappointment.
Hobi however did both. He just needed to let Namjoon know one more time... and he didn't know how else to do it over the phone.