The Love Calendar

c h a p t e r 1

I woke up in my room. My whole body was aching. I almost felt like I won't be able to move a muscle, until I mustered up all energy in me to pull myself up into a sitting position, leaning against the headboard.

I was sweating. My tank top stuck to my skin as I tried to catch my breath.

My whole body felt like it was set on fire, leaving me to wonder what the hell happened last night. It took me a moment to recall the events, leaving me in disbelief. No, no, no. It has got to be a dream. This can't be happening right now.

I rolled out of bed and onto the floor, falling on my right shoulder. I almost screamed in agony from the sudden pain that spread from the area between my neck and collarbone. Now I know the centre point of this ache.

I crawled my way to the body length mirror across the bed whilst praying this was all an illusion. It took me awhile to drag my body, but I made it with my eyes tightly shut.

I've never prayed so hard before. I prayed that there was a God up there. I prayed to him. I prayed, asking Him for mercy. I prayed, to whoever is listening. I prayed to whatever spirit or higher power religion claims to exist. Please. I need more time.

As usual, luck was never on my side. A sob escaped my lips as my eyes immediately fell on the small dark bruise between my right shoulder and neck. It has begun. What am I going to do now!?

I sat on the floor, trying to think of a secret tunnel out of this mess. I know I shouldn't. I know I should just give up because there's no use. There's no way out. And then what? What's next? I'll just end up hurting myself even more. And who's to blame for this hurt? Me. Myself. I'm the one feeding myself hope when I very well know that it's useless! I've heard enough stories about where those who attempted to escape ended up. Right where I am! Just like me! Back at square one. No one ever succeeded at leaving. It's impossible.

The more you try running from it, the faster it is going to catch up with you.

But I'll be damned if I don't try again. I won't rest knowing that I haven't at least tried.

Time for plan B.

After a few minutes spent trying to preserve my energy, I pulled myself up to stand.

I quickly pulled a plain black hoodie over my head, ignoring my protesting muscles. I wrapped my long hair in a tight bun and wore a hat to cover it.

The small receiver on the table near the floor length window in my living room area crackled and rumbled as a disgustingly overly cheery voice recited todays news and weather forecast. Another function, besides providing information, it also takes it. We are constantly being monitored by Them. They hear everything and see everything. That's the main reason why no one gets to leave. However, the more privileged, like the king and his relatives and a selective of friends get the leisure of having privacy. If a match managed to follow the calendar flawlessly, then they are rewarded and granted the lavish and private home life. Apart from the receiver, there isn't any other piece technology currently existing. I've heard stories about how we were once very advanced before we regressed because the government thought it slowed down humankind's progression. But I never once encountered such technology. This is the only thing I've come across close to telecommunication. An it has been this way every since I could remember. Nothing moved. Nothing changed. And that's one thing I craved. Change. Freedom.

In my peripheral vision, I can see my restriction. A red calendar sitting on the breakfast bar of my studio apartment. The forbidden colour was such a bright, deep red and I know that part of the reason is for the eye to catch it instantly. But I chose to ignore it, pretending that it didn't exist.