I am hurt... Very hurt... With my husband... And what hurts me more isn't what he is doing but the fact that he doesn't even acknowledge that I'm hurt... He doesn't even know me... When he is angry, hurt, frustrated, happy... I am the first one to understand his feelings... But when it's about me no one cares to understand... Not only him, his family also... For them I'm just a happy go lucky girl who always do mad things, is always happy and forgive everyone for their mistakes... But how can they forget that I'm human also? I also have feelings inside me, the fact that I behave madly in front of others doesn't mean that I'm mad only...
Even a joker does his job at the circus making people happy... That doesn't mean that he lives his life laughing and doesn't get hurt...
But looks like Arnav and his family will never understand this...
But it was my fault too... My selfless nature made me accept Sheetal and her son enter in our lives so easily that they started gaining importance in my husband's life....
But it is his fault too, how can he give his ex girlfriend more importance than his wife? How can he start treating me badly in front of everyone? I was mad when he fell in love with me, and now he has problems with the way I behave... He wants me to be like Sheetal... Like really? Then why doesn't he get married to Sheetal then? He doesn't leave me but at the same time always finding mistakes in me that I have started thinking that he is indirectly telling me to leave...
After that Shyam fiasco got over... I excepted us to spend time together... But Anjali or his works came in between my plan... I stayed quiet understanding the situation... But now I don't understand... He doesn't spend time with me because he stays with Sheetal or her son... Is this fair? I'm his wife and every wife wants her husband attention only on her and not on some ex girlfriend... Arnav Singh Raizada doesn't understand this... For him the fact that I'm his is enough for him... He is happy that I'm his and now I will not leave him for anyone so he can do everything he wants with me...
Am I jealous? Yes... I'm jealous... With Lavanya I also felt jealous... Now Sheetal and on top of that her son who behaves like Arnav, talks like him, is diabetic patient, loves plants... What am I supposed to think? I'm sure you will also think like me... But I'm scared to clear my doubts with him... What if he takes it bad?
But I can't live my life with a doubt... I have to speak to him...
" Khushi bitiya come and make coffee for Sheetal and Arnav" Nani screams from downstairs....
See I wait everyday to see a glimpse of him and all they make me do is a Coffee for him and that Sheetal... He receives the coffee from my hand like he is receiving it from Hari prakashji ... Without even looking at me like I mean nothing to him... But talks with Sheetal with all the respect in the world... Help her son in everything he wants...
I've no problem with Aarav... He is a cute child but it will hurt me if he is Arnav's son...
" Chote look at Aarav... He looks like you really the things he does here at home makes me remember you when you were a kid" Anjali said smiling only if she knew that that smile is breaking my heart... She is telling these words for the fourth time ... Isn't she tired? They talk about Aarav like he is Arnav real son... In the beginning I also had no problem with these comparisons as I also compared him with Arnav... But now it's enough... Don't they have another topic to talk about?
Arnav... Only smiles... And doesn't speaks anything... I'm more angry with him, he should understand that I also feel hurt when they start with their talkings... But I forgot... He only understands business language... He is far away from being my husband ... How I miss our cute fights, our romance at Jiji's wedding, our Teri meri dance, when he said " I love you dammit"... So many sweets moments that my laad governor made me happy... But seems that he forgot everything.... And I'm still here waiting that one day he will look at me and say sorry for his deeds... I'm a fool really... He will never realize his mistakes alone... He needs someone to open his eyes... Alone he can only destroy someone... Like when he forced me to marry him... Without even hearing the whole truth jumped to his own conclusions... I don't even know if he THINKS... He knew what kind of girl I'm still he believed that I would snatch Shyam from Anjali... I still forgave him for what he did... Called me " The biggest mistake of his life" still I forgave him... And what not... After doing all these I thought I would finally have a happily ever after... But no... DM likes testing me....
