It was the first day at Smalltown High. I was a senior this year, and I couldn't wait to get out of here. I wanted to impress my long-time crush, Brad, so I put on my nicest clothes.
I was wearing a loose floral tank top that showed off all my assets. I put on some tastefully ripped white jeans, because they hugged me in the right places. Then I put on my lucky brown ankle boots. I put my luscious blonde locks into a messy bun. I put on mascara and some neutral eyeshadow that accentuated my crystal blue orbs.
I got out of my Barbie pink Jeep, and said hello to my crew. My 'crew' consisted of my best friend Ashley, a junior named Stacy, and then a black girl named Alisha (to show I wasn't racist ;)).
I walked into class fifteen minutes late with a Starbucks™️ Caramel Frappuccino in my hand. Miss Craw, my bitch of an english teacher, started yelling at me.
"GET YOUR ASS IN A SEAT YOU WHITE TRASH HOE," she screamed. She's my favorite teacher.
I walked between the rows of desks and noticed that SOMEBODY WAS SITTING IN MY SEAT. WHAT. THE. H-E-DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS! (I'm Christian ;P). I strutted over, hips swishing and Frappuccino sipping; then sassily placed a hand on my curvy hip and striking a pose. My posse fanned out behind me and crossed their arms. The guy turned his head an- OH MY GOD ITS BRAD!!!
I want to hyperventilate but I have to be coy and entice him. So I stand there, and in the most sultry voice I can manage, I say: "Hi Brad. I think you're in my seat!"
He doesn't respond. That's when I notice he has AirPods™️ in. I whisper to myself that I'm a fucking idiot and my friends nicely pretend not to hear (they definitely did). So instead I lean over far enough that my tits are basically in his face and tap him on his shoulder. He looks up and removes a singular AirPod™️.
"Wassup Jess-o?" He says, his voice slurred like he'd already slammed five shots of tequila. His green eyes looked me up and down with little subtlety. When he turned, his short-ish blond hair flopped onto his forehead, and he reached up to flip it out of the way. I wanted to rip my pants off.
"I am so so sorry to inconvenience you, I just have an eensy-weensy problem," I tell him, in what I hope is a smooth and seductive voice. His eyes are glazed and he looks like he barely registered my tone. Boys are a rip off.
"What's up?"
"Oh, nothing much, you're just-" my sweet tone cuts off there. That seat is my power, my authority over the peasants I call peers. "In my fucking seat." My voice had gone dark. My brows furrowed, my luscious lips turned down. I think I looked badass.
But all he did was laugh. I wanted to rip his throat out just as much as I wanted to rip off his shirt.
"Don't 'cha worry Jess-a-roo, I'll get out." He gets up and sits next to his bro, Chad. Chad is the captain of the basketball team, but nobody here gives a shit about basketball. He's best friends with Brad though, so he gets a lot of chicks.
I finally sit down in my rightful spot. I'm victorious. Undefeated. Queen once more. And Miss Craw is screaming at me again.
———
Near the end of school we had the first day of school pep rally. I'm never interested in what they have to say, but sitting there with my posse and cheering for everything makes me look like I actually care about the school. Guys on the football team dig school spirit. Brad digs school spirit.
