Uufi blipped frantically as the little UFO kept fighting off the monsters in the neon blue mushroom infested ruins.
“I'm hurrying! I'm hurrying! I'm trying to avoid an unnecessary trip!” Skairys just as frantically scrambled to manage the items in his hyperbolic storage bag. Tossing some items he didn't need and throwing in the many odd trinkets and furniture here into the bag. It was rather odd that he could toss some seeds and suddenly have room for a bookshelf, but he was starting to get used to this world's odd logic.
Suddenly, a zombie that had snuck past Uffi managed to strike Skairys in the back.
“Aargj!" He cried in sudden pain, "Bastard!” He immediately drew his laser gun and blasted the thing to bits.
Uufi began blipping again, warning him of another wave of enemies incoming.
“Got it! Lemme get this statue and-” suddenly, he found himself frozen in place. He didn't understand how or why, but a dark and evil presence sent shivers and goosebumps flowing throughout his body and straight to his pulsing heart. He felt his heart racing against his rib cage, wanting to run. What was happening? What was this wave of threatening darkness?
He did not want to find out. “He shoved the statue in his bag and brought out his magic mirror. “Uffi! Now!” The little UFO flew toward his friend as the mirror began to glow. Light flooded the room, blinding any monsters who happened to look upon it. And then, the light and them were gone.
Skairys and Uffi found themselves back on the green grass in front of the Dragon Fae Tavern. But… the evil presence was still there…
“Skairys!” Gilbert the merchant cried. “The bloody hell is that?”
Skairys turned around and before him was something beyond anything he had ever prepared for.
“It's a giant eyeball of evil!” he cried in horror.
“What a magnificent deduction you made!” Gilbert snarked. “Eye can't believe my eyes!”
Skairys, Uffi, and even Maxwell all looked at him judgmentally.
“Eye thought you hated puns?” Maxwell asked.
“Eye refuse to dye with regrets!” he answered as he ran to hide in his room. No one could ever understand what was going on in that odd man's mind.
Skairys looked to Maxwell. “You plan on helping Mr. Guardian Angel?”
“Guidance Angel. Fuck doing actual work. You're the chosen one dork. Go fight it or something. I'm going to bed.”
“What? Max!!!” The giant eye glowed red and charged at Skairys. He somersaulted out of the way and immediately opened fire. Uffi flew under and over the beast as the tentacled beast somehow roared and continued attacking Skairys.
With his young sparrow wings, Skairys flew up to the roof of the Dragon Fae in an attempt to catch his breath, though he didn't have long before the massive tentacle eyeball flew up there. It charged and made contact, burning Skairys on contact and made him cry out in pain.
Uffi bleeped in rage and began firing even faster than before in it's little alien fury. Skairys ran, continuing to fire in desperation. By the time he got to the end of the roof, the eyeball had had enough. It stopped moving for a second and began to shiver violently.
“Alright, we got it!” He cheered with Uffi. However, the celebration was short-lived. A veinlike line traced through the eyeball's… well, eye. Just like that, the line split open wide, revealing thousands of glistening sharp teeth!!! The roar it released blew Skairys and Uffi right off the roof and struck him while he was caught off-guard. The beast took a huge bite into him.
“AAARRRRRRRRGGGHHHH!” He screamed in pain. He glowed red, showing his Hero Protection (HP) was taking massive damage. He couldn't take much more before it would break and leave him much more killable.
“Time to bring out the ol’ One-Two!!” he growled through clenched teeth. He brought out his best weapon, a gloved punching machine that hit like a truck. “Get fisted bitch!” Skairys aimed and began rapid punching the beast, who hadn't expected it's prey to get so strong all of a sudden. Before it knew it, Skairys and Uffi broke through its Heinous Protection(HP) and shot/punched it into a literal pulp.
With the monster slain, Skairys and Uffi dragged themselves back into the Dragon Fae Tavern. Maxwell, who apparently had lied about going to bed and was cleaning the bar, gave a slow clap for the two.
“Congratulations.” He said. “You've slain the eye of Cthulhu.”
“We just battled… and barely survived… fighting Cthulhu's eyeball?”
“Essentially.”
Skairys chuckled, which slowly grew into laughter. “I guess it's just another day at the Dragon Fae Tavern huh?”
That's when the door slammed open. All eyes turned to the unexpected visitor, which walked past them and went down the basement for no reason anyone could fathom.
“Was…” Skairys said in disbelief. “Was that a fucking goldfish?”
“I believe it was.”
Skairys sat down at the bar. “Okay, I'm gonna need a glass for that one.”
YOU ARE READING
Adventures In Gaming
Short StorySmall short stories based off my advents in the various games I have played. (Cover is temporary since I forgot a story needed one of those)
