Mutual Need

Chapter 10

I hated lying and felt awful for doing so. Jake noticed I was acting strange and took my arm gently steering me into an empty classroom. "Jake what -" I began," somethings bothering you" he said cupping my neck with both hands.

I rolled my lips, " talk to me honey, what's wrong?" he asked brushing my jaw with his thumbs. " Dad talked to me last night . I told him and mom the other day that I broke it off with you. Then last night dad wanted to talk and asked if I understood why he wanted us to break up and I told him I did. He and mom got me a present, they got me a MacBook and I know they couldn't afford it. I hate lying to them even though I know right now it's the only way " I told him.

He eyed me nervously while I spoke and sighed when I was done, "I'm sorry baby" he said softly. I shook my head and covered his hands with my own, " don't be. I  may understand it, but he's not seeing the difference everyday I spend time with you. He doesn't see the genuine way you've become with  me or how hard you've tried for me, but I have and I'm not giving up when I've waited so long " I told him.

Jake relaxed and smiled brightly at me before leaning in and kissing me. He kissed me softly brushing his hand to my shoulder and down my back pressing me closer. Pulling away he cupped my cheeks kissing me softly one more time. " C'mon honey, I'm starving" he said and together we left for the cafeteria.

Weeks turned into Months as we kept our relationship a secret Sam and his gang became a problem for Jake and it worried me . Halloween, and Thanksgiving passed. We danced at a Halloween party and this time no drama, I was the only one kissing Jake. For Thanksgiving I wished we could spend it with both our families, instead I dropped off a hickory nut pie and wished him a happy Thanksgiving with a kiss.

Christmas was similar but we exchanged gifts in his garage. I had sent for a cuff my cousin in Montana made and painted a russet wolf on it. After Jake and I were seeing each other for a bit I went with Bella to a bookstore in Port Angeles and picked up a book on Quileute legends,  I figured this would be a subtle way of saying I respected his culture.

I opened my gift finding several necklaces. I gasped quietly and lifted them up to look at them better, both had delicate rose gold chains. The first had a small blue opal bead in the center of the chain then the second made tears come to my eyes. " Did you make this Jake?" I asked thickly staring at the intricately carved tiny russet wolf in the pose of howling with tears burning my eyes. He looked at me softly and nodded, I smiled " I love it, thank you " I  told him." Turn around and I'll put it on " he asked gently. I did and lifted my hair letting him add the two necklaces along with my dads that had a small bar reading my angel across it.

After fastening the clasps he caressed the back of my neck with his forefinger " there" he whispered huskily. I pulled out the small box I had put his present in and gave it to him nervously.I waited on pins and needles as he tore the wrapping paper and opened the box. He looked from me to the box, his eyes liquid hematite and his Adam's apple bobbed with his hard swallow as he took out the cuff. " My cousin tules leather, so I sent for one and painted it " I  told him softly as I reached over and put it on him. 

"C'mere honey" he asked taking my arms and gently pulling me to him. He pulled me up into his lap sideways and held me tightly. He cupped my neck and jaw and kissed me softly with a pop as I relaxed in his arms, " so, I'm guessing that you like it " I teased softly as he smiled leaning in to kiss me again. He chuckled pressing me back against the old back seat he used as a couch as we kissed. He hovered over me barely having any of his weight on me as he kissed my throat to my neck pressing his hand to my lower back under my shirt and holding my neck and jaw with the other.

Jake had long since gotten me comfortable with touching him. He'd take my hand pressing it to his bare chest at his sternum, " there's nothing wrong with this, your not blurring any lines touching me honey " he encouraged smiling gently at my blushing face .

So now though I still blushed, I was no longer as hesitant and put my hands under his shirt touching his back, or brushing up his abs to his chest. My breathing hitched as he suckled my throat to my neck. His breath hot and the heat of his body taking away the chill in the air as he held me to him. Our breathing labored as he kissed me softly a final time then a second and he rolled us over so it was him laying on the couch with me laying on him.

He rubbed my back under my shirt staying clear of my bra while I tucked my head under his chin and rubbed his chest with my hand. " No ones ever done anything like that for me " he whispered and his warm breath heated my scalp. I swallowed hard deciding to tell him, " I did, because I love you Jacob" I told him softly and kissed his chest over his shirt. He stiffened slightly and I swallowed thickly and reached up covering his lips with my forefinger, " you don't have to say it if your not ready, I just wanted you to know how I feel".

I held my breath as he kissed my finger. Taking my waist in both hands he smoothly sat up with me straddling his waist. He cupped my cheeks and I dropped my hand fighting the feeling of wanting to cry. " Please look at me" he whispered and I raised my eyes to his. He wiped my  eyes at the corners, " I  want to really mean it when I say that to you. I just don't know yet " he tells me, I nod understanding what he means.

Jake kissed me between my brows soft and slow then pulled me into a hug. I cleared my throat after a bit " I should go, I told my parents that I wouldn't be gone long " I  told him rubbing his  shoulders. He nodded sadly and kissed we chastely. I tried to smile for him and kissed his cheek, " See you soon yeah?"

I was disappointed, but I understood. When I came home I helped with dinner like always. Later Jake texted me, I'm sorry he told me. I told him not to be, that I wanted him to be sure of his feelings.