Streams Of Danger

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She didn't know what she was looking for. she knew she wouldn't find the clues she was looking for here. the only thing she could get from this place was memories and the nostalgia and the homesick feeling in her chest.

She found herself in an old safehouse, surrounded by what once had been the picture of complete safety. But those days were over. Left behind. In a corner so hidden from her own mind that she just couldn't bring herself to remember them.

How could she? After all, wasn't it all her fault? She felt alone. Correction; she was alone. Alone, scared, sad, longing for something and someone she had lost so far back.

In the red room they taught her different. Madame told her love was for children; how foolish of her to not listen to her, she had been the one to teach her everything she knew after all, why would she be wrong about this?

The problem wasn't what she did at the time. No. She didn't regret falling in love. She regretted losing the only person who had ever, really, truly loved her. She didn't have a family, she never knew her parents and the only other relative she had was her grandmother. Yes, she was alive. After some years in the red room, curiosity got to her. She deserved to know where she came from anyway.

She could never bring herself to visit her. Not even after she joined shield. She did terrible things; how could she look her in the eye? What would she even say?

Madame always said she had no place in the world, that her life would just be to serve her country and the people who made her what she is. No. That's not right. Who she was.

Natasha wasn't what they made her anymore, or at least y/n told her so.

Natasha would trust her with anything; her life, her heart, everything. And she had.

For a while they had had the most amazing time. Being able to stay safe in each other's arms, away from the pain that was the red room; away from the memories and the lives of the many girls like them they couldn't save. How happy they had been.

Girls. They had been only girls when they first met. Of course, it had been in the red room, everybody had to grow up way too fast in that damn place. It was just the way it was.

They first introduced them when they were seven. They were told to spar. Ten minutes on the clock and still none of them could bring the other down. At the time, they didn't know they were the best there was. They were put up against each other to see which one was truly worth their time.

When the years passed, they came to realise that. They realised why and how it was that the universe decided to bring them together. They were soulmates after all. Or so she said.

y/n always said that.

They were seventeen the first time it happened.

They were laying in bed, staring at the ceiling side by side. None of them said anything.

It was a successful mission, both of them knew it. But they couldn't help but feel in the back of their minds these little voices telling them how there was something wrong about what they were doing.

It didn't matter, their handlers would be thrilled. They always were.

"We should head back first thing in the morning, we can blame staying the night here on the snow."

Natalia turned to look at her and couldn't help but think how much she just wished she could stay here forever.

Of course, y/n didn't know that; to her, Natalia was just her mission partner, she wasn't even a friend. They were not made for that.