"Heeyoung!" I turn to see Hyunjin running towards me. "I'm debuting soon, it would mean a lot if you came to see my stage," Hyunjin smiled.
"I'm busy," I turned and walked away.
--
Started: December 2, 2018
Ended:
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Wednesday - 3:08 am
What do I do?
Hwang Hyunjin. The tall-black-haired-slender eyes-full lips-cute nose-boy, said he likes me.
He likes me.
I don't believe it. I refuse to believe it.
But ... Why would he lie? Is he lying? Is that boy even capable of lying? He literally admits to every mistake he does and immediately apologizes, he's literally incapable of lying. Which makes it even more unbelievable, he was telling the truth and I can't believe it.
I let out a sigh lying on the dance floor of the practice room. Everyone left to go home to their dorms and I let myself stay behind. I had so much to think about.
Honestly during training, my mind was elsewhere, it's a miracle that I wasn't scolded for being absent-minded. Or maybe I was, I just didn't notice. Eun-Ae had noticed my lack of attention, but let it slide thinking I was really stressed.
And maybe I am, but not for the reasons she may have been thinking.
The source of my turmoil is one boy, who seems to find his way to bother me in every way possible. He torments my every thought, that anything literally reminds me of him.
Just when I think I'm done thinking about him, a thought. a random thought brings me back to seeing his face in my head. Images of him smiling, frowning and pouting flash into my head and I'm back in a spiral of thinking about him.
The whole morning was spent with Hyunjin. We ... we acted like friends again, like the past year never happened, like I wasn't a complete bitch to him. How could he do that?
Walking and talking to him, it felt natural. As if that's all we've been doing all year. But that's not the case, I've ignored him for a year, and there he was sat on the bench in Han River. He rambles, until he finally tells me what he wanted to tell me.
He says something that completely flips my world around and I'm back to questioning every little thing.
He doesn't even completely know the whole truth, but he says he forgives me. That doesn't make sense, why is he so nice? It doesn't make sense, he should hate me, he should dislike me, but ... He likes me?
"It doesn't make sense!" I cover my eyes with my arm as frustrated tears spilled out.
It's frustrating that despite knowing he should hate me. That he has every right to hate me. I actually felt happy when he confessed. How can't I? I've liked him for more than a year now and he likes me back. It wasn't one-sided, and I can't help but feel happy about it.
