snatch my jacket back

i don't believe W E A V E met before

*atticus finch SNATCHES MY W E A V E this is how i imagine luke hemmings as don't judge me y'all

--

"NO! NO! DON'T YOU DARE GO NEAR ANY LIVING BEING WHO HAS AN XY CHROMOSOME!"

Brett practically screamed through the phone. Stephanie furrowed her eyebrows, distancing herself from the screeching audio.

It worried her sometimes that Brett would be protective of her to this extent. 

"MY GOODNESS, BRETT, HE NEEDS A JACKET! YOU HAVE TO CALM DOWN."

"CALM DOWN? CALM DOWN? My only younger sister is about to get harassed into giving up her only heat source to a W I G  S N A T C C H E D hot rock star?" Brett went ablaze, annoyance refusing to dissipate from his tone.

Stephanie glanced a few yards ahead of herself, where LUkE hEmmIngS(aka atticus finch with lip ring....wait no ew. never mind he's just luke hemmings. just imagine him as luke hemmings.), the main vocalist of 5SOS, was pleadingly looking into her eyes.

"I have to go now, Brett."

"NO, STEPHANIE RENEE WATERS, YOU ARE NOT GOING TO--"

Stephanie hesitantly hangs up on her brother, leaving her with a half-relief-half-sorriness expression.

"Honey?"

Luke FLIrTAtIOuSlY exclaimed with a sly grin.

Stephanie, more disgusted than ever before, ignores Luke's dIALoGUE.

"Sweetie?"

"..."

"Pumpkin?"

"..."

"Cereal? chocolate? candy?"

"..."

"Orange juice?! room temperature milk? melted frosting?!"

A chuckle eScApEd (the fire alarm has been activated, PLEASE FOLLOW EVACUATION PROCEDURE. WEEEEEE WOOOOOO WEEEEE WOOOOO WEEEAAVVEEEE SNNNAAATCCCCCCC..... i'm sorry i'll stop) STEphANiE'S moUTH.

"You do realize that the names are only going to get more weirder if you don't respond, right?"

jUSt thEN, OuT oF cOMplETE suDDeN iMpuLSe, sTEphAniE rUnS oVer To LuKE thEn LeAnS iN to KiSs HiM!11!!!!1!1!

("Stephanie(subject) runs(verb) over to luke(prepositional phrase)." wow this is very basic sentence structure. is 'over to luke' an adjective? oh wait it is, it's describing a verb.)

ThEIr LIpS SyNChRONizEs LiKE A gREAt hARmoNY!1!!1!1!!1

HOWEVER!

...

Stephanie's phone rings once again, and Stephanie, with a strangely emotionless expression, answers the call.

"Hello? who is this? my name is StephWEAVEanie."

*insert F.R.I.E.N.D.S's laughing audio clip*

"WIGGG SNATCHEDDD!"

Ashton Irwin screamed from the bottom of his lungs. (sisters he was VERY close to beating Brett and damaging StephWEAVEanie's eardrums. I also had to look up his last name, be proud of me.)

Stephanie started to zoomba dance, throwing her phone across the airport hall. Luke joined in, because why the heck not, and soon a crowd gathered around them, zoomba dancing all together.

Stephanie's phone started to crackle(just like ohio fried chicken when it's being fried to a burnt crisp), then suddenly, Ashton, Michael, and Calum all climbed out!

It almost seemed like a celebratory ritual, hundreds of people just zoomba dancing in sync. 

HOWEVER

...

WEAVE UNSNATCHED FERRARI QUEEN ALLIE SUDDENLY DROPPED STRAIGHT FROM THE AIRPORT ROOF, BREAKING SOME OF THE TILES THAT THE ZOOMBA DANCE SQUAD WAS ON.

ALLIE WAS WEARING A REVEALING GRAY SEQUIN DRESS WHICH MADE HER RESEMBLE A FISH.

"WEAVE UNSNATCHED" 

one Zoomba dancer angrily exclaimed.

"ALLIE YOU CAN GO EAT YOUR OWN NONEXISTENT W E A V E "

Some of the Zoomba dancers chimed in, insulting Allie from the top of their lungs. However, QUEEN FERRARI WEAVE UNSNATCHED was not an easy target.

"PROVE TO ME YOU GUYS ARE THE TRUE W E A V E SNATCHERS"

Allie screamed, her head twitching uncontrollably. 

"WEAVE! WEAVE! WEAVE! WEAVE! WEAVE!"

The zoomba dance squad started to chant. Luke and Stephanie stepped forwards, resuming their pAsSiOnAtE kISs they didn't conclude.

"UGH! I NEED TO PULL THOSE TWO APART TOGETHER!"

Allie spawned her ferrari in the middle of the airport. Similar to her arrival, the Ferrari fell from the sky. Allie, being unwise enough to not have calculated the result of a car falling from 50 yards above, caused a great explosion which eventually blew out the entire airport.

The only survivors from what is presently called the Weave UnsnALLIEtched Ferrari Massacre WUFM was Allie and Stephanie. 

"ILL SHOW YOU MY REAL WEAVE!"

Allie screamed, pulling out a card with a picture of Jeremy(i think that was the allie's boy dude from the swimming pool incident right? im sorry if his name was george or something lol) on it, then running towards Stephanie like a psychopath.

Jeremy fell from the sky, but this time, he had a parachute. 

however, Stephanie had a WEAVE SNATCCHING trick that would beat Allie against all odds.

"..."

"..."

"....MOIST. PHLEGM. OOOOOIIIINTMENT. LUGUBRIOUS. CURD... CURD YES CURD. RURAL. DOLLOP, SLLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRPPPPPP. MUCUS. PULP. "

(credits https://www.bustle.com/p/11-gross-sounding-words-everyone-hates-to-hear-according-to-science-36115)

The disgusting arrangement of words made Allie scream, her hair falling off of her head, leaving her bald.

"NO! IT MUST NOT END THIS WAY!"

Allie's KWE E N SHADES drooped from her head and she turned into sand, then dust. she disintegrated into the air, leaving only the rubble of the airport.

"SIS JACCKET GOT SNATCHEED!"

Stephanie jerked backwards to see Ashton, unharmed, clapping at her WEAVENING victory.

Suddenly, jugs of tea fell from the sky, as well as teacups. All the members of 5SOS appeared from nowhere, sitting in a circle with stephanie on top of one of the airport's collapsed support pillars.

"YOU BETTER SPILL THE TEA SISTER, RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW!"

"OK SISTER NO TEA NO SHADE, BUT..."

Stephanie found it absurd how all of the members addressed each other as 'sis'.

"Ok y'all this is SIMPLE ENGLISH GRAMMAR. You simply cannot call someone 'sis' when their cHROMOSOMES ARE XY NOT XX THIS IS GENETICS Y"ALL STOP TRYING TO DEFY SCIENCE."

with that, 5SOS was disappointed. They started to call each other bro.

"NO THAT"S ALSO GRAMATICALLY INCORRECT'

STEPHANIE SCREAMED.

"

------

ok guys it's 12:37 am and i'm tired, I don't know what i'm even writing.

hello 

if you are reading this

then we are desperate

: )

we love you

goodbye