Hold On (H2OVanoss)

💜

"Just hold on, okay?"

That was the last thing Jonathan told Evan after their fallout of a 2 year long relationship.

Evan has then held on to the idea of them going back to the way things were.
Back when Jon would laugh at one of Evan's corny jokes, Jonathan's soft kisses in the morning, the way Evan makes coffee for Jon even if he prefers tea but Jonathan drinks it regardless, the sparkle in his eyes when Evan told Jon that he was the best thing that ever happened to him.

Holding on was the only way Evan even got any sleep at night.

"Earth to Evan, are you there?" A snapping sound shook the Asian out of his thoughts as he remembered that he was having lunch with his friends Tyler, Brian and Brock.

"O-Oh, I'm sorry guys, I was just-"
"Lost in ye thoughts, we know." A sympathetic but slightly annoyed Brian finished the overused sentence.
"Is it about Jonathan?" Brock's worriedsome expression made Evan's heart ache for having his friend worry about him, but all he did was nod in response.
The 3 friends helped their friend as much as they tried, but Evan would quickly fall back to the hole that is depression.

"Argh, for crying out loud Ev! Just forget about Jon already! He isn't worth it!" Tyler received a jab of an elbow from Brock the moment he openly expressed his frustration.
"Enough Tyler, you know its not that easy! Evan, don't listen to him. Take as long as you want but just remember that he isn't going back to you any time soon." Brock reached out to Evan's hand, holding it the way a mother would.
"Brock, you can't be so soft on him anymore! I'm sorry Ev but if Jonathan really loved you the way he told you, then he wouldn't have left you in the first place all miserable and wondering what you did wrong."
Tyler pretty much shut everyone up, shaking his head while taking a sip of his iced tea.

Evan only could nod again and look down at his half eaten sandwich. Tyler instantly felt terrible for telling his friend that but he knew he was right and bit his tongue.

Before the tears in Evan's eyes threaten to fall, Brian cleared his throat and gave Evan a side hugged before saying, "So Ev, when is your next song releasing? I need a new song to bop to."

And just like that, Evan's face lifted. Anything with music makes him happy.
He sniffled and softly smiled, "N-Not sure, I have a base and rhythm but no lyrics."
He rubbed his tired eyes before biting into his meal, quickly regaining back his appetite.
The other two friends realized what Brian did and continued the topic.
"W-Well, whatever it is about, we know it will be amazing!" Brock confidently said; Tyler adding on with a mouth full of food, "Yeah man, it will be a banger."
Evan proudly smiled at the support of his friends and decided to lighten the mood but that feeling in his aching heart didn't left.

It has been 4 hours since Evan has met up with his friends and he STILL hasn't found the proper lyrics for his latest song. Dozen of crumpled up papers were piling up in his wastebasket and his head started to pound from the lack of sleep and over thinking.

He was getting frustrated: at himself, at his sensitivity, at everyone, at Jonathan.

With watery eyes, Evan made his way to his bed and laid down with a thud.
His phone was charging when he decided to torture himself by looking at some messages from a year ago.

Jonathan💕: I'm sorry, I feel like I would do better with somebody else

Jonathan💕: I want to focus on me

You: what are you saying, Jon?

Jonathan💕: Let's just hold on, okay?

Evan let a few tears fall as he read that sentence over and over. It never really made sense to him but all that it mattered was that it stung.

"'Lets just hold on.' To what?"
Evan asked himself with a scoff.

"I did every little thing I said I would do to make you happy. Our friends don't even know half of what I did. I want to be with you one more time and then I know I will finally be through with you. My heart is bruised, black and blue! It saw something good in you but I should have listened to my head. I don't know if the alcohol messed us up but all I just want is to be with you one more time, like fuck! My now empty heart and mind keeps thinking that you won't leave me behind. It seemed the world was against us every time we were perfect. I just want to be with you again, Jonathan. I love you, Delirious. I miss you so fucking much."

Evan had tears in his eyes the moment he finished his subconscious rant.
But him talking to himself is what lead to him finishing his latest song, literally having the meaning blood, sweat and tears revolve around the song.

Jonathan woke up with a groan, having his partner shift in his sleep. Jon smiled and gave his lover a kiss on his temple before walking towards his bathroom.
After finishing up, Jonathan laid down with his phone in hand and scrolled through his socials.
He then realized that Evan or rather Rynx has posted a new song.
Jon bit his bottom lip and clicked on the link that lead to the song. It had Jonathan bumping his head to the beat.
He then felt something on his chest and looked to see his lover Joe laying on him.
His light green eyes and light brown hair shone in the morning light peering in through the curtains. His cream colored skin was flushed red when Jon gave him a kiss on the head.

"Whatcha listening to?" He questioned as he curiously looked on his boyfriend's phone.

"Oh just uh Rynx's new song, y'know, that artist that I love."

Joe nodded his head in response, little did he knew that this Rynx guy was Jonathan's former lover.
"Well, its such a bop. Its amazing but it sounds like someone hurt him, really bad." Without realizing what he said, he gave Jon a kiss on the cheek and went to wash up.
"Yeah, it does." Jon began to guilt trip as he downloaded the song, played it on repeat and looked through the old messages and photos Evan was too torturing himself with for the past year.