Jeff slammed a plus four onto the table and Chris muttered a curse as he picked up four cards. I smiled, realizing it was my turn, and put down a red plus two card. Jeff gave me a look, as if I had wronged him in some horrible way, then picked up two cards.
"Could you go back to Vermont? I don't really like you right now." Jeff said.
Fresh out of high school and terrified, we had all been away at college. I had fled from Illinois, desperate to get out of our small town and experience something new. Jeff went to Rhode Island and attended Brown, where he could be near his father while he battled kidney cancer.
I smiled. "Nope, you're stuck with me."
"Your turn Chris." Jeff muttered.
Chris, with a dramatic flick of his hand, sat a red reverse down, making Jeff curse again, knowing he didn't have any red cards in his hand to play. I gave Chris a smile and he simply looked at me with those muddy brown eyes, not one for smiling or showing any kind of emotion. Chris had gone off to Missouri, trying desperately to get out of the cold. He hardly ever contacted us, deciding that it was best to live in the moment. Every once in a while, he would text me to tell me about his annoying roommate or mention a weird thing he saw while walking to class just to check in with me.
My stomach twisted. I was happy for a split second before I remembered that I had brought a secret home with me. I had to tell them, but I knew it was going to hurt and ruin the good day we were having. I looked down at my small hand of cards. Two reds and a blue. I was so close. I took a deep breath and dropped my red three onto the top of the deck. I watched Jeff and Chris play and I thought about how much time I had spent with these guys over the years. I knew what made them angry, what they thought was hilarious, what their sleep schedule was like – I even knew what kind of food they would like even before they tried it. I hung out with them so much that I could even tell what kind of mood they were in through text. Even with all this information, I still studied them. Today I needed to commit their movements, their eyes, their smiles – everything – to memory.
Jeff put down a red four, and he looked up at me. He had blue eyes. Not the prettiest I had ever seen, more like one of those houses that had light blue shutters that had faded with time. Even though he wore his big gray college sweatshirt and khaki shorts, I could still tell that he had lost weight since moving to Rhode Island. He had decided that it was best to eat only one meal a day, and then complain to me that he was exhausted.
"Wait, cheater, it's my turn!" I said, noticing Chris put down a card in the corner of my eye.
Chris chuckled lightly and took his card back.
"Why is it that this game brings up such anger in us?" I asked.
"We just really hate playing with you." Chris said.
"Fair. I do beat you guys every time – UNO!"
My stomach contracted again. I hadn't smiled this big in a while. It had been weeks of crying, pacing, trying to figure out how I was going to deal with the biggest problem I had ever faced. I held my last card close to my heart and tried to hide the shaking. I had a half-eaten Christmas themed cookie sitting next to me and the thought of finishing it made me want to throw up. That feeling wasn't new, I hadn't been able to keep a meal down in weeks. But this nausea was different, I could feel it in my gut.
"Marley, it's your turn." Jeff said.
"Oh." I put down my last card and Chris threw his remaining cards at me. I tried to smile, but my whole body felt numb now.
