This Isn't Me

Chapter 3

I was awoken by the shaking of soft, gentle hands against my shoulders. I groaned deeply, rolling back over, pulling the blankets over my head. The person ripped the blankets from my hands, causing a rush of cold air to fall over me. I sighed and furrowed my eyebrows, still squinting from being so abruptly awoken. I pressed the heels of my hands against my jaded eyes, twisting them until I saw little twinkling stars. I blinked quickly, stretching my arms above my head, letting out a soft yawn. I sat up slowly and sluggishly, looking up at the person who had so 'graciously' awoken me. It was Adiline, my caretaker who has watched over me for as long as I can trace back my memories. Her wavy, fawn colored hair fell against the frame of her face as she smiled happily at me.
     That's just the one thing I despise about Addy. She's always happy and cheerful, always smiling. I cannot stand It. There is no possible way that any living human being could be that happy every single day. Now, Please do not misunderstand me when I tell you these things, for I do care dearly for Adiline, I just don't think it is physically possible to be that happy all of the time. Maybe It is just the simple fact that I don't share the same happiness as she.
    My thoughts were wisped away as she began to speak.
    " You must meet with a number of suitors today, in favor of your fathers orders. I must apologize ahead, for I know that he has set up your poor little heart for disapointment. None of them are very bright, and I'm sure you know this because you've met them in other situations aforetime. The prince of the northern Isles is one of them and I try not to think about the incident between the two of you upon your first meetings. He's a heartless, brainless,snobbish young man. Well, if I had any say, I'd say that he is no man at all, nor will the little prick ever be." She ranted as she tossed my dress onto the bed. She sat next to me, making the bed sink in a bit. " I fear for your life my dear. You're never going to find a man that suits you on the grounds of your fathers doings. You must have a man in your life so you will be well taken care of! I fear of what will happen when you finally do leave this place, which if things don't go as planned, you will be alone. I don't want to have to be scared for your safety when you're gone, darling"
   I gave her the most hard, burning glare, that even the devil himself would be frightened. How dare she tell me that I must have a man in my life in order to survive! I am well capable of supplying myself with everything I need! I do not need a babbling, anencelaphic, man in my life! I am an intelligent, well mannered, unregimented woman! How dare she tell me those things!
     I scowl at her as she leaves. Getting up, I can feel my ears and cheeks heating up with severe animosity. I grab my hair and tug at it a bit,tying it into a loose up-do. I furiously slid my dress on, which was an atrocious green. I tied the hideous satin bow around my waist and walked out, slamming the heavy door behind me as I stormed out. If my suitors do not accept me when I look a hodgepodge mess, then I suppose they do not deserve to see me when I am In my best.
     I trudged into the washroom and stared into the crystal mirror. My cheeks were red, my dark, wine eyebrows furrowed. I could feel my eyes welling up with tears. Maybe Addiline is right, maybe I won't find anyone. But, I do know one thing, even without a man I could carry myself well. A few of the warm tears slipped down my cheeks. I swiped them away quickly, exiting the room.
     I was met in the corridor by Addiline, who seemed very lively. She locked her arm with mine as slowly walked next to me. I am not as furious with her as before, but there is still a dull sense of agitation. She began rambling as we walked.
   " I would like to apologize for what I have spoken to you early this morning, for it was wrong of me to say those things, especially to you. I understand that you are a strong, brilliant, beautiful young woman, and you are very au fait. I am sincerely sorry, your highness."
    I could hear the significant impartiality in her words. " It's alright Addy, I forgive you." I smiled gently, still feeling the tinge of agitation, but I couldn't let her know I still felt this way. I nudged her side and smiled," So you and Boris?"
   Her cheeks turned a bright red as soon as I said this. " N-no... w-well maybe... but you must promise not to speak a word of this to anyone! I beg of you! We've been seeing each other for quite some time now, and I'm very startled that you figured it out. We try to keep our pertinence
with each other very low." She blushed and only smiled as we walked.
     The clacking of our shoes echoed throughout the hall as we entered the ballroom, where I am expected to meet my suitors...