Harry's pov
there i was lay across the cold hard floor hands full with bottles of vodka. a pounding head but i deserved it, i hurt Tegan in a way no one ever deserves to be hurt. trembling hands shaking body, god I'm a mess, this is why i rarely drink, i turn into a monster i don't speak or cope its like inside I'm dead. no emotion except pain and guilt. i suddenly felt a presence in the cold room before having the bottles ripped out my shaking hands
"WHY HARRY FUCKING WHY" Niall roared his thick Irish accent tracing the room echoing loud
"i don't know London just attacked me as soon as she walked in c'mmon dude shes super hot but i would never cheat you know that" my heart ached for her she was broken and it was because of me. "shes never gonna forgive me is she" i cried tears escaping my watery eyes she deserved better than me
"well where is she?" Niall questioned his voice sounded hurt as if he knew something i didn't that really worried me.
"locked her self in the bathroom" my fists were clenching at how angry i was with my self i could feel my eyes darkening because that's how i felt deeply hurt and ashamed.
there was no time for thinking me and Niall just sprinted to the bathroom my head and heart both pounding at an unhealthy pace i could literally feel my heart pounding into a million little pieces.
Louis came gushing up as soon as he heard us shout him, after a few hard attempts we manage to bust the door down, yes my shoulder was aching but not as much as my heart and i needed to be with my princess to fix that, but there she was, her small petite pale body lay on the ground no movement or breath. blood, fresh scars covered her beautiful body. no words could escape my mouth i just grabbed my phone from my back pocket dialed 911 and tossed the phone to Louis i was in no state to talk to anyone. a flow of tears emptied my sore eyes my cold hands shaking and all i could smell was the lingering of alcohol of my hot breath, it should be me lay there not her
"hello, yes there's been an attempted suicide shes currently unconscious her name is Tegan Jai Smith aged 19 get here soon, we need help" lou cried into the phone
i just stared at her little body she was helpless and needed saving but could it be to late my precious baby all gone? it doesn't seem right.
the paramedics came gushing in with oxygen masks and a stretcher
"don't hurt her'' i screamed
"sir, please calm down'' a woman with long black hair spoke she was about 40 so i trusted she knew what she was doing ''are you coming in the ambulance or making your own way down to the hospital sir?" she questioned
i nodded my head not acknowledging my rude response but at this moment in time i didn't care i just wanted her back in my arms to tell her I'm sorry and i love her to take back all my mistakes and regrets to make sure shes okay and happy instead of being the dick i am. if she dies it is my fault and i couldn't bare that
"go mate" Niall spoke up before i realized the paramedics were getting ready to leave i spotted a small note on the side of the sink and told one of them to grab it before passing it to me i rushed into the ambulance and grabbing her still freezing hand before opening up the letter and beging to read, my hands shaking wild
'I'm sorry Harry but this world is just not my place, I've tried for so long to fix this and fit in I've come to realize the world is full of sin threes nothing for me here I'm just a waste of space threes no reason for me to be here with this awful race ,its a disgrace i was misplaced born at the wrong time and in the wrong place its okay though cos you'll see me soon, you'll know when your time has come just look at the moon as it shines bright through the night just remember every ones facing there own fight but i cant deal with the pain I'm not a fighter you'll make it through the night just hug your pillow tighter, so let the world now that i died in vein and let the world know its the one to blame and i know in a year you'll forget I'm gone, cause I'm not something really to be dwell ed on that's what they used to tell me all those kids at school my presence on this earth is not needed any longer and if anything i hope this makes you stronger, your the best friend i ever had such a shame i made you so very sad just remember you meant everything to me and to my heart your the only one that held the key, now its time to go I'm running out of space to write and yes of lost my fight but for me please hold on tight I'm watching over you from the clouds above and you Harry are the one i love.'
the words shattered my heart causing me to burst into hysteric tears my cheeks burning from the hot water running down them.
Tegan got rushed into an emergency op and all i could do was sit and wait , i kept re-reading the letter causing me to cry more each time.
I got my phone out to check to texts reading a few
hope shes okay mate, Lou ;(
all the best from me and dani, im sure she'll make it, liam
SORRY we couldn't have got there any quicker but shes a fighter, your best mates Niall Eleanor and Zayn
i was about to read a few more before the doctor entered the waiting room calling for me i instantly got up and pratically attacked the poor woman geez im a idiot.
"hello sir, im Dr moore luckily she is alive and is asking for you, shes going to need to stay in hospital for a week or so but your welcome to see her now" she smiled and a huge wave of relief sank into my body
i slowly entered her room having been told where it was, she probably hates me but i need to say sorry
"im so sorry harry" she blurted out before i rushed over and placed my arms around her burying her face into the crook of my neck
shortly after talking and sorting everything out we were okay i guess shes in a fragile state and doesn't need hurting anymore and ive promised to be her forever, the doctor entered to room with a sympathetic look on his face before sitting down on the end off the bed
"im so sorry miss Smith but you've had a miscarriage"...
authors note...
ahh my god i cried so much durning this chapter and sorry its early but was egar to write but anyways let me know what you think and a miscarriage eyy...cant wait to update the next chapter love elle xoxo
