Bumble

MATCHED

SOPHMORE YEAR
APPALACHIAN STATE UNIVERSITY

Let's all be honest with ourselves here. It's been evident that my so called love life is flopping. Even the fucking seniors are commenting to my friends on how I'm the only single girl in my friend group. I'm like the one penguins of Madagascar meme. Just smile and wave, just smile a wave. Of course, not having a boyfriend is so disgusting and ew, [according to Ashley and Stevens] I am now on BUMBLE, it's like the serious inquires only people of tinder.

I only got like 3 matches, mostly because my profile was made for me, then I quickly changed my bio to 'shlong inquires only'. I found that so funny, I laughed to myself and the people on the train next to me stared. I think I'm hilarious, others don't seem to agree. Their humor is shit, I'm funny as hell. Or awkward depending on the situation. Like meeting someone's parents for the first time.

Most of my pictures are shutters of me attempting to take a nice photo with my friend, then ended up bringing my face back to show my double chin because I felt ugly. That followed by a picture of me saying yeyeet.

The boys I matched with were named, Bryan, Alex and Lucas. They were all very good looking, their bios were filled with information, and all were looking for a smart and loving wife. Okay, first of all, I'm stupid. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

I tried starting conversations with them, but only one of them answered back. Since I started to conversation, I could tell he didn't know what to say. He tried to keep the conversation going, as did I. He was witty, and handsome. [According to his photos. Let's hope he's not a catfish.]

He also went to my university, so if it wasn't him. He wouldn't know me, but he does. He's seen me around campus. My friends have mentioned him, but I never bat an eye. But here I am kicking my feet up and down my bed excited because he's been texting back. I thought myself as a teenager, distressed but still going at it.

He mentioned he also matched with another girl, and he liked her as much as me. It was kind of a bummer because I actually really started to like him. I was the boring type, and from what he told me. She was so interesting and enthusiastic. Something I am NOT.

I really hoped he would chose me. Because he did this to me, in whole a few hours. In only a few paragraphs. In only a few life stories. I started to like him. So he better get his shit together and chose the boring one because I might actually lose my shit lol.

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I actually say 'lol' in my head not laughing out loud, but just lol