Good morning Nerdfighters, it's Friday...

September 26, 2014

Good morning Nerdfighters, it's Friday. A couple orders of business before I start.

1) I STILL NEED QUESTIONS FOR A QUESTION FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2) I'M SORRY I'VE BEEN CRAZY BUSY AND HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO UPLOAD IN WAY TOO LONG! :)

Okay, now onwards. Nerdfighters, let's talk about fears. We all have them and you can't say that's not true because it is. In Veronica Roth's book "Divergent" the people with the least amount of fears still have fears. More than one. I won't go rambling on about the science of fear (or will I?) but there's some more information in this article :http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/factoring-fear-what-scares/

Don't worry nerdfighters, I'm not trying to spam you. That's a legit article about fear and it's actually pretty interesting. So, here's the thing. We all have our fears and I have this weird thing. A couple years ago I had the most irrational fears. Going in circles, odd numbers, the works. It was very peculiar and I'm over all of that now but I have new fears. Fear evolves as we experience more. 

Now, I have never in my life been claustrophobic. Well, until like four years ago. Then I started telling myself I MUST be claustrophobic because it bothered me when people got super close. I got anxious, my heart started racing, my palms got sweaty, I wanted to get away. Except I didn't actually think I was claustrophobic.

But, you see, the brain is a really funny thing. Often times, when we keep telling ourselves something, we believe it is true. Sometimes it becomes true. And the thing with fear is that it is prgrammed in your brain. Suddenly I didn't just think I was claustrophobic, I really was and I think that scared me even MORE than the tight spaces. 

So it really wasn't all that bad until this summer. Nerdfighters, it must be about seven years since I've been in a revolving door. And I made about the worst mistake possible. I stepped into the same section of the revolving door as someone else. 

When I realized what i had done, I totally flipped out. I pushed the person a bit to get myself out of there (thank God it was my mother and not a stranger) and I forced my family to exit the building using the regular, plain, old doors. 

For those of you who don't know, I am a Theatre Geek. Right now I'm in a production and I was in rehearsal earlier this week. I'm pre-set for the show in a little box. Now, when I say little, I mean that fifteen people could stand in there with relatively enough room. But that's small when you hate small spaces. 

My claustrophobia is relative. I can stand close to people I trust, some spaces seem like less of a problem then others, etc. Except there are no lights in this box. So, when I was in this box, I realized where I was, I noticed what could happen to me, and I had a little moment there. My claustrophobia is not bad at all and I apologize, I don't mean to offend anyone with severe claustrophobia, but even mild cases are pretty freaky. 

My breathing gets faster, I feel like there's no way out (despite the hole to crawl through in the corner and the door that was closed behind me), blah blah blah blah blah. So, I made an announcement to the two people in the box with me pre-show, my sister and Naum. This happened twice and the first time wasn't so bad because of how it happened.

Naum thought it would be super smart and funny to move really close to me. Now, the first time it was okay. I was away from the box wall, I was facing the corner with the hole so I could see light coming through a little. But the second time, I had managed to be standing in a corner when he did this, facing away from the light. 

Haha, very funny Naum. Obviously, I freaked out a little more. Here's the really strange thing. You would think this would send a message, "Get a way from me. Now." Nope, it didn't I physically had to say, "I'm not kidding" before the poor guy was like, "Oh! I'm sorry!" and backed up really fast. Appreciative that he apologized and realized I wasn't joking, not so great that it had to happen twice before he really understood how legit this fear is to me.

So, nerdfighters, what are you afraid of? Has anyone ever messed with you because of your fear? Did they mean to or were they just oblivious? I want to hear your thoughts. Oh, and what do you know about fear. 

Disclaimer: I don't mean to offend Naum. He's a really great guy but really. It's only funny after the fact. 

Dftba, I'll see you on Friday.