Their stories

Miranda

hi. my name is miranda. I am a senior in high school and I have gone threw a lot in my childhood. I really do not think about it often and I have not told anyone except one person. one person I thought liked me. and cared about me. we where together. not dating but we were more than just friends with benefits. he acted like he was really into me. he had told me that I meant so much to him and that he really liked me but things were complicated because my parents did not support our relationship and so he didn't wanna date until later, until I no longer lived with my parents. we would hang out at night. id sneak out to see him. I really thought he cared about me. he had said he did. he said he liked me.. and of course I believed him. he had told me all these sweet romantic things like how he loved cuddling and holding me. and wish I could just be in his arms all the time. he made me feel loved and happy. and then he said that he wanted me to move in with him, which came out of no where but it made sense because we had been getting really close recently. I had told him everything about my childhood. which was a lot and I had not told anyone else about. I had trusted him and I do not easily trust people it takes me so much time to get comfortable with people and to trust them. 

but all this was a lie. he did not like me. he did not really want me to move in with him. I found this out around valentines day. we had been very close at the time and I had thought that I was the only person he'd been talking to. but he had posted a picture of another girl on his snapchat and had said happy valentines day to her. at first I didn't know what to think, I thought maybe it was something different that I had over reacted to but when I had messaged him he just said that he couldn't be with me. that he didn't like our relationship. he had a million different excuses on why we couldn't be together but the main one was that I wasn't smart. and we didn't have deep intellectual conversations. which doesn't even make sense because we had talked deep about a lot of things and I was pretty smart, I was not the smartest in my class but I was not stupid. I was so upset. he had moved onto another girl literally in a few hours because we had been talking this morning. I hated him. as I was texting him more and expressing how I felt he had said that he pretty much had lied our whole relationship. he really didn't like me. he had been with other girls at the same time. he really didn't want me at all. he had just said that I should move in because he said it was "what I wanted to hear" he had lied about everything for about a year of our relationship. he had really not cared about me at all. I was so upset and I have depression so when this happened I was very depressed and did not want to live anymore. it was the day after valentines day and I had tried to kill myself. I was taking a hot bath and took my blade that I cut with, with me. I cut my left wrist open. since I was hot I bled more. I had only cut the one wrist and was crying. I had passed out due to blood loose and the heat. when I woke up I was in a hospital bed with my arm all wrapped up and my family around me. they where all so worried. I was just so upset I didn't wanna wake up. I didn't wanna be their. I wanted to be dead. I hated myself. because I was not good enough. id never be good enough for anyone. it is a few days later now and I still have to stay in the hospital I am on new meds now that are supposed to help with my depression. everyone keeps telling me things will get better but I don't know anymore. he was my everything. I really liked him. I had known him for years and we had been close friends for so long, years. and all the sudden he hated me and had me blocked on everything. I still see no reason in living but I am still here.