Silenced Thoughts

Moonchild

I'm not a Cancer, but the moon is still my ruler. I am a moonchild modeling phases accordingly, as the night governs my thoughts and dreams from picked up daytime fears I push away. There is no escape from them haunting me in the morning full of sweat and distortion. I feel lost, not recognizing myself in the sky full of stars. I ask around for my soul, and many worry, as they don't know where I stand.

Surprisingly, I am still here, I haven't completely disappeared.

Sometimes I just need to go off, hide myself from the spectators who wait for me with questions I have yet no answer to. I shine for others to be able to breathe, but I am unaware of what exactly I breathe for.

Living has become more of a job than a chosen experience of my own. I constantly think about the dependence many have on my light, but it is hard to radiate it when I just don't feel it inside. It is not necessarily multitudes of myself talking, it is more of a selection of traits being projected at specific given emotions.

But as my duty, I'll stay here doing my part, because I have more reasons to shine than to turn off the fire that makes me reflect the sun's light. So, don't worry about me being gone. You'll still be able to talk to me when you remember my existence. You'll still be able to put fears in my path making me suffer extensively in my sleep. You'll still be able to breathe, while I wonder, what is it I breath for.