All the pretty girls can't measure to you

Chapter 5

  When they finally exited the bathroom, the rest of the boys were waiting there with their security team.

  “What the hell were you doing in there so long, jerking each other off?” Niall laughed.

  “Harry got his dick stuck in his trousers, we had to call the fire department,” Louis quipped, quick on his feet as usual.

  Harry stuck close behind Louis, poignantly aware that he smelled like come and surely had an obvious wet spot on the front of his trousers. When they finally made it back to their rooms he immediately rushed to the shower.

  When he emerged a while later, Louis was nowhere to be found. The other boys were milling about the kitchen and living area, along with some of their crew. Harry caught snippets of conversation, “pick him up around seven,” “make sure they get a good shot of them kissing before we fly out...”

  Harry sank numbly onto the sofa. He felt vaguely nauseous. Louis had a girlfriend. He had to get papped snogging his girlfriend tomorrow morning. Which meant he was spending the night with her. Harry wished that knowledge didn't twist itself painfully into a knot in the pit of his stomach. He was just Louis’ bandmate, he had no claim on his love life. Love life. Did Louis love Eleanor? He loved Harry, had told him so lots of times. But he wasn't in love with him, not the way Harry wanted him to be. Maybe he was in love with Eleanor. Maybe Harry was nothing but a sexual experiment for him, a harmless way to release sexual tension when Eleanor wasn't around. Except it wasn't harmless. Harry distinctly felt harmed.

  He slowly walked back to the bedroom and glanced around blankly. All of Louis’ stuff was gone. Harry's own duffel bag sat lonely in the corner. The room felt hollow. Harry lay back on the cool bedspread and blinked at the ceiling. He was so stupid to let it get to him like this. He should be on top of the world right now. He'd finally gotten to be with Louis in ways he'd been dreaming about for years. And it wasn't like Louis was out cheating on him, Eleanor was his girlfriend. Harry was just his… Harry didn't know what he currently was to Louis. His friend with benefits, maybe? Harry didn't like the way that phrase felt. It twisted itself into the growing knot still churning in his gut. Which was ridiculous, really. Friends with benefits was a massive upgrade from friends without benefits, right? Before he could talk himself out of it, he unlocked his phone and texted Louis.

H: hi

  Harry grimaced. Maybe he should have actually thought of something interesting to say. Who seriously starts a conversation with just “hi”? Ten-year-olds, that's who. Ugh.

L: wats up?

H: just laying here. bed’s cold without u

L: lol I've only been gone an hr, go to sleep Haz

H: wish u were here

  Three dots appeared, then disappeared. Harry waited five minutes, then fifteen, but Louis didn't reply. His thumb hovered over the screen, trying to come up with something to say that didn't make him sound like a clingy boyfriend. Come on, channel Zayn, say something bro-y. Fuck. Harry tossed his phone in frustration. It bounced off the bed and landed by the door, right where Louis had kissed him, had told him he wanted to fuck him. Louis could be fucking Eleanor right now, maybe that's why he wasn't replying. Harry curled up on the cold bed.

  Two hours later, his phone beeped, rousing him from a restless sleep. Harry sat up groggily and padded across the carpet to retrieve it. He beamed as he read the message displayed across the glowing screen.

L: I wish I was there too if I'm honest

  The next morning Louis met them at the airport with Eleanor in tow. Cameras flashed noisily around them as paps shouted questions and demands. Eleanor ducked her head shyly and clung to Louis’ jumper as he hugged and kissed her goodbye like the perfect boyfriend. Harry turned away and boarded the plane.