Underdawgs

Chapter 21

Saturday arrives and I find myself on the couch at home, nursing a brutal hangover and thinking about the coming evening and the fight.

      The front door bangs open and Robert storms in. His face agitated, he strides sourly into the living room and shoots me a filthy look. 'What are you doing just lazing about?' he demands, staring at me like I'm the sole cause of everything wrong with his life. 'Don't you have homework or something to do?'

      'I dunno.' I shrug. 'I kinda got stuff on.'

      'Like what?' Robert sneers. 'Lazing around on your arse all day taking up space?

      Here's an idea, why don't you get up off the couch and do something decent with your life?'

      I look away. I can't talk to Robert when he's in this mood. I know he doesn't really mean it and it's just the alcohol withdrawal talking, but I don't have the energy to deal with him right now. Robert shakes his head dismissively and goes into his room, slamming the door behind him.

                                                                                        ******

If Robert's mood was bad this morning, by dinner time it's a whole lot worse. It's getting to the point where he's so on edge that Sarah and I have to tiptoe around him.

      He's lying on the couch, sweating like a pig, and he must have downed at least ten pain killers in the last couple of hours. I get a text from Lily arranging to meet up tonight, and he reacts so violently to my phone beeping, swearing and punching the wall, that Sarah scurries into our room and doesn't come out for half an hour.

      My concerns are multiplying. Robert is a time bomb itching to go off.

      I finally coax Sarah out of our bedroom and the three of us sit around the kitchen table in silence to eat. Robert's in no mood for conversation and I'm still distracted by the countdown of the clock, thinking about the fight.

      Sarah seems a little bit brighter and tries to get the conversation going. 'What did you do today, Jason?' she asks.

      'Not much, Sar. You?'

      'I tidied our bedroom,' Sarah says proudly.

      I smile at her. 'You've done a really good job. I'm proud of how much effort you've made around the flat.'

      Robert flashes me a filthy look. I ignore him.

      'I'll try to keep my stuff as neat as possible, okay?' I tell Sarah.

      'Thanks, Jase,' Sarah says with a grin. 'I think Mum would be proud of what we've done.'

      Robert's gaze fixes on Sarah at the mention of Mum.

      I beam at Sarah. You have to admire my sister. Despite everything that's happened, she's always maintained her faith in both Robert and me. It's down to her more than anyone that the three of us are still together.

      'She's proud of you, Sar,' I tell her, placing my hand on hers. 'Even if she's not here to say it, she's probably more proud of you than anyone on earth. She loves you, Sar, don't ever forget that.'

      Sarah smiles, but I see her eyes well up and feel a pang of sadness.

      'I miss her,' Sarah says softly, a tear rolling down her cheek. 'I really miss Mum. Why did it have to happen, Jase?' She turns to Robert. 'Dad? Why did she have that accident?'