"Sweet" Dreams

I've haaaad a dream.... 🎵

Tonight I dreamed a dream that represented my worst nightmares.
I completely and totally lost control: a darker version of myself, with purple hair and deep orange eyes took my place.
She did everything that came across her mind, not caring enough for the consequences to stop at anything.

I saw everything she did. I knew that wasn't me.
But no one saw me: the real me, or whatever that was left of me.
They all thought that she was me.

I tried to fight to gain back the power of making my own decisions and, for a few seconds, I actually (for my own surprise) was myself again. But I knew it wouldn't last, so I took the first sharp object I found and craved the proof of truth in my own skin:
"SHE IS NOT ME".
Now that I had completely disappeared, leaving her in control, at least I knew everyone would know:  I was gone, whatever she did wasn't what I would have done.

My silver lining didn't last long though... I saw the blood drying and the wounds fading away,healing in a high speed. Until there was no more proof of my existence.

Then I had to watch her having fun destroying everything I stand from.
I watched from a corner of my mind, unable to do something against it no matter how hard I tried.
I was hurt.
I was disappointed.
I was hopeless.
I was helpless.

The worst part? No one seemed to notice that I wasn't there anymore.
For everyone else I was just having a bad day.

A/N: I am very aware that this will never be famous but I want to send a message to anyone who actually reads this at some point.
I know what this dream means. "She" is the embodiment of all the bad thoughts that I have to battle everyday and it is really difficult to keep fighting. To never let her win.

I want to ask you for a favor: take mental health seriously. If you have friends/family who suffer from it show them support, ask them in which way you can help them (because everyone has a different way of coping) and never give up on them.
And if you are suffering from any mental health problem, please, don't surrender. No matter how strong the "she" in your life may be, I know you are stronger. Because you made it till now, which is a lot. :)
Be safe ppl <3